Saturday, June 5, 2010

the tale of Twitardia

as far as i can tell it started with the books or movies or a combination of both.

i can't truly speak to everyone's experience and how they got TO Twitardia. but like i said it seems to have started for everyone with the books and movie. for some reason, for a population of women, Twilight completely smacked them upside the head and completely captured their imagination. captured isn't the right word. more like kidnapped. from what i understand from all of them they didn't see this coming. it came from out of nowhere and completely took their lives and irrevocably changed them forever.

i can't speak for all women, but i know that Erin devoured the books in a week. soon after, in talking with her friend who had originally given her the books, she found out that Stephanie Meyer (the author) had been working on a parallel novel to Twilight called Midnight Sun and was available online to read a portion. Stephaine Meyer however found out that her novel had been leaked online and vowed never to finish it.

that is of little consequence however as the damage had been done. from there many women found what is called "fanfic" which is short for Fan Fiction. fiction written by fans of the series. most of these stories are extremely sexual in nature and most are blatantly pornographic in nature. these stories enlived many women and gave birth to their sexual imaginations. in continually searching for more things of this nature online many women ended up coming across a little blog by the name of Twitarded.

begun Jan. 15th 2009 by two women who go by the names of Jenny Jerkface and Snarkier Than You. i DO know their real names, but since a woman's real name is about the most intimate thing these women can share with one another i will not violate that trust here. this blog is THE Twilight blog for this neighborhood. hence the name "Twitardia" for this grouping of blogs. this blog has over 1500 followers, posts daily, and is a massive, MASSIVE gathering of fun, wit, sarcasm, and smut. it has grown so big, the comments so numerous, and the emails of admiration and fangirlness that it has begun to take over the lives of JJ & STY. so recently they added a 3rd partner named Latchkey Wife (aka LKW).

it is what i have dubbed the Ellis Island of Twitardia. women end up tumbling down the rabbit hole and finding them. they come in search of a new land for this new life they have found for themselves. they are given a new name, become acclimated for a while, and eventually go forth into the new land of promise to stake their own claim.

when i found this group of blogs through Erin, at her behest, they were a group whose postings consisted largely of excitement about upcoming Twilight events (movies, soundtracks, ruminations over the books), varying sexy pics of the male celebrities, sexual stories, comments filled with what they call "smexiness" (smutty sexiness) and lots of game playing. they love to do things as a big group, play games with one another, and Fridays are big days for that. things such as Fact or Crap, Drunk Mad Libs, and the Friday Fun Five (a post in which a guest bogger asks the group 5 questions and everyone answers.)

this is enough for now i think. this is just a little background on the place. i will return however with the introduction and evolution of Mr. Pantz, how i got there, how i got sucked back into the bloggy world, and why i feel like god had the Mad Hatter tumble down a rabbit hole of his own into a world filled with much shaded pain and many troubled marriages...


Erin said...

Personally, I read the books and in the end was angry with the time I had lost while reading them, and disappointed in myself for falling into the trap.

But then, I'm glad if it makes you happy, really I am. Community is community and if you've found it there, then that's a good thing.

I guess.

Ruth said...

Erin you don't sound too convinced :)

Jon it just seems to me to be a precariously disturbing place to dwell even if you're doing good there.

Why did you need to leave blogging to begin with?

that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

good questions ladies!!!

@Erin- it has been a very strange ride. it really has. i honestly don't fully know why it was that god brought me there. and i believe she did. for one, Erin and I have helped one young woman find the strength to leave her abusive husband of 8 years and get herself and her 4 year old daughter to a safe place where he can't do that to them anymore. that is truly the BIG one so far. there have been others who have been affected by my "openness" which, as you very well know, can be both endearing and somewhat unsettling all at the same time.

i'm sure if you've checked it out at all you're probably more than a bit "squicked" by things you amy have read and wonder just why i would stop by out of the blue and share things of such a graphic nature. and to be quite honest... i just wasn't thinking. and i apologize for that. i am numb to the culture now in terms of shock factor. it's just how it is there. i can easily phase out the pictures and the surfacy comments and read between the lines to get at the heart of the women there. and for some reason i don't mind walking there. in fact, it almost feels as if i was made for this moment in a strange way.

i haven't really found community there. i THOUGHT i had, but it turns out not. as i said it is a strange story. and the next installment, the evolution of mr.pantz, is really the story i felt lead to come back and share. RL being what it is however, my time to blog is much more limited than it was in the past. if you're done, i understand. i expect nothing from anyone here. just thought those who had always been interested in my journey would be interested to know about this most amazing adventure the spirit has brought me on the past 3 months.

@Ruth- it IS a precariously disturbing place to dwell even if you're doing good. but 2 men whose stories have stuck out to me in the past, David Wilkerson and Brother Andrew might share the same sentiments as you, but also then share the same sentiments as me, "when he says go, you go. even if you don't really want to." i think jonah would also echo that sentiment. :)

i left blogging because i took a quantum promotion at work. instead of being a simple delivery driver who was dependant on the kindness of others for his monetary income, i became a District Manager with 7 stores under my charge. this took me almost a full year to learn how to do correctly and make several things "autopilot" so i could start thinking about other things. once this happened, the push back into the blogosphere was almost immediate. but instead of it being a "safe" place such as ours, it was a completely different place with a completely different culture who desperately need what the spirit would have to offer through me.

that is what i want the next post to be. lots and lots of links. BUT!!!!!!! they are obviously going to be links to posts that are varying degrees of sexual explicitness in nature. not even ALL of them are, but it is certainly there. and if you're not comfortable going on this journey with me, i totally respect that. i do. i just felt lead to come back to the kitchen and share. so that's what i've begun to do. there is a lot of darkness there and it has swallowed up lives and is stretching many marriages and families to their breaking point and i believe god has heard the cries and is utilizing me to help bring some light.

although right now i would say that while i was received at once like some sort of wonderful man, my relationship has become very similar to that of jeremiah/israel. not fun. but i will not stop talking. it is burning too much in my bones and i fear that i will be consumed if i hold them in.

:) much love. gotta feed zaavan. no time, yet again, to proofread. sorry...

twilove said...

God schmod i doubt he wants you to 'help' any women that are into twilight. i think youre talking crap asshole. you gotta
problem if you think youre the guy to sort out any marriage problems and what i read on that hubtard thing youre a sick fucker

that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

see? sorry about that, gang.

that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

@twilove- do you not think, for example, that LKW ought to be able to share openly with her husband that she is an international blogging superstar and have him be proud of her? to no longer have to lead a double life? do you think she is satisfied with this kind of life? because everything i have heard her say publically as well as privately would beg me to differ. i have a hard time witnessing people in pain who reach out and not do anything about it.

better than not disturbing the status quo is freedom.

that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

i apologize, gang. not sure why i felt lead to come back and share. but obviously i am being stalked in some fashion. i don't want to sully this beautiful space with this.

you at least know where i am now.

love you all. :)

Erin said...

No worries,'s good to hear from you. I added your blog and will visit from time to time. I'm glad you came and shared with us -- even if it's not my kinda thing, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it. Go where you're led!

twilove said...

He's led by his ego and the idea that he's helping people. LKW is quite able to look after herself without him fighting some "cause" that he thinks needs fighting. I say again asshole

Erin said...

Well, I don't know the details of that situation, but your description doesn't sound much like the guy we've known for years. Not sure you'll get much commiseration with your opinion here.

twilove said...

Then you should read his hubtard blog because you obviously believe all the crap about broken marriages. Who is he to say if a marriage is broken, all power to him if he has had people reaching out to him but he shouldn't suggest that everyone is unhappy or in pain!

Stoney said...

Oh Twilove...why so much hate and judgment?

jON never said anything about ALL relationships in Twitardia being broken. Not everyone was brought to the Twitard community b/c of hardship in their personal life. When he first arrived on the scene however, several women opened up to him and asked basic questions about their husbands and their relationships. They weren't looking to be saved, they just wanted someone to listen to them and give them a third party perspective. I think it was brave of him to lend them his ear, not to mention brave of the women to reach out in the way they did.

And when has talking about God or the love of God or ones own personal spiritual beliefs been a bad thing? Because he openly discusses his relationship with God and believes there are no consequences doesn't mean he has a complex.

Reading the words of those who have known jON for years..know his true self and not the 'persona' that he has been saddled with b/c of gossip and hate... leads me to believe that there is more than what meets the eye. In fact, I know there is.

It saddens me to see this much anger stemming from something that started out as nothing more than his offer of a shoulder to lean on. And this offer did not come until after he had been approached by one or more women who had reached out to HIM first.

The 'hubtard', in my opinion, is a brilliant mix of sarcasm, honesty, tongue in cheek humor, and outlet for his own free personal expression. If that means he is an asshole

*raises glass to jON and smiles*



that's Mr. Pantz to you said...

@Erin- wow. thanks! nice to see erins sticking up for me in 2 places. :) while my Erin was defending me on the hubtard, i come back here and find our erin doing the same thing. and we've hardly spoken in over a year! you still rock, woman. much love.

@Stoney- very cool to see you in the Kitchen! umm, there's this rule though, see, that all newbies have to make the next pot of coffee. sorry, i don't make the rules but i DO have an empty mug here...

thank you for coming and offering your support and genuine love. as always it is tremendously appreciated. :)

@twilove- yes. LKW is quite capable of looking after herself. however, as i'm sure you know because you seem to have a LOT of quality first hand information here, you would know that about 3 weeks ago LKW contacted me and asked me if i had any advice for her husband on being a Twidow (Twilight Widow) and that she would love it if i could contact her husband and begin a dialogue with him. i offered that if he's not interested, there's nothing i could do. and instead, i asked her 2 questions to contemplate before we decided to try to do ANYTHING. 1 week later she posted that she had finally stopped bending over backwards for him, even though unintentionally, and that his reaction was not quite as horrible as she had feared and that perhaps, "i should just tell him." to me that is progress. she has been fiercely closeted for more than a year since she started doing this. so secretive in fact that he doesn't even know that she blogs and she has fans that reach around the globe!!! that is a disconnect. it is something that she would like to see healed but it seems to much for her on her own.

i just don't see what is wrong with that. in fact, i kind of wish the world was full of more people willing to help strangers out in a genuine way.

Erin said...

-- "i just don't see what is wrong with that. in fact, i kind of wish the world was full of more people willing to help strangers out in a genuine way."


You are welcome, Jon. I don't really appreciate strangers coming here to bash one of our own.

Mike said...

Jon ~ Keep truckin' my friend. It's always the people who do what they think is the right thing that are going to made out to be the bad guys anyway (from my perspective). So if doing good is considered being an asshole, at least I know that the efforts that I put into perfecting that art are not in vain!! LOL

Nice to see ya again!

Twinkle said...


We don't appreciate strangers bashing our own either, which is why Jon was kicked out of our community. Or did he forget to mention that part?

fellow Twitard.

Erin said...

Hey, if you guys are pissed at him for some reason, that's fine. Everyone is different and I don't discount the legitimacy of your anger.

However, this here, this is supposed to be a "safe" place (in case you didn't read that on the front page) and therefore if you have an issue with Jon, take it elsewhere.

I'm changing the comments to members only now. Thanks for visiting.

Erin said...

(Mr Pantz aka Jon - I think you should still be able to comment with your profile, but if not drop me an email.)