Tuesday, September 30, 2008


hey all,
I would vent on my blog, but it's not a good place right now... I don't want to be a burden I just need prayer. I know many of us are dealing with A LOT and my prayers are with you...
As for me- I'm just pretty angry. I feel like a terrible person for it. It's complex. Last night I threw water at my husband. ( he was being kind of a jerk) I just saw the cup there, full of water and it seemed perfect. It all happened so fast. He was mad... but then apologetic. I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore because I was afraid to throw other things.( I don't want to scare anyone... I don't normally throw stuff at people)
I think I'm just dealing with all the disappointment and mistreatment I received from people in the IC and some other issues. It has been very hard, I have been very low I have been physically feeling awful too. I need to work though this anger, somehow.
I'm too tired to explain more right now. I'll try to later
I was thankful that I got to sleep in today and I have another little while to myself, thank goodness. Anyone feeling so inclined, pray for me and my health. I ordered some nutritional support and supplements that should get here in less than a week hopefully. I need to take better care of myself for sure.
Thanks for being here for me to vent to- (I don't want advice but support is fine. I think I know what I need to do, it's just finding the strength...one step at a time)

Brief Bio's!

Hey, just to get more familiar with you all, I would like to know more about everyone if you don't mind sharing a brief bio of yourselves: where you're from, what ya do, and even some good deep things if you care to share... That way we can know each other little better! No pressure though for it is just a thought!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

A Hectic Week Coming Up

Hi All.

I don't want this to sound too lame but I am asking for an interest in your prayers for the next week or so. The wife had surgery on her knee today so this week I am mom and dad, nurse, groundskeeper, shopper and housekeeper. All of this while I am preparing for a first birthday and trying to get the yard and house ready for winter.

Daddy help me to keep my priorities and my head on straight!

Family Dealings

Hi! My name is Nicole and I found this blog through Manuela. Great thoughts you all and it feels like such a comfortable and encouraging place to spill my guts, so here goes…

Without going into great detail and making this post longer than usual, I just wanted to get some encouragement and prayers about what I should do about some family issues that have been popping up this summer. My eldest sister is leaving my brother-in-law to go live with her ex-husband. It is quite a shock to most of my family and we are having a hard time supporting her decision to do this. First let me just say that my brother-in-law did not do anything to her, but loved her and treated her like a queen for the six years they have been married. However, my sister thinks she is now in love with her ex-husband so she decided earlier this summer to move back with him. This has made family gatherings quite awkward and hard to deal with. My dad especially has taken this really hard because she has really destructive life patterns that he has seen ever since she was a teenager. We have all tried to talk to her about our concern for her, but she doesn’t seem to care what the family thinks but expects all of us to back her up in this bad decision, and I just can’t. I love her and I always will, but I am having a hard time accepting this rash and bad decision and how it is deeply hurting my brother-in-law who we all love very much. I don’t even feel like I can call her or email her. This issue has really put a wedge in our family and it is literally destroying the peace that we once had in the family. Do I just go along with it? Or how do I love her, but at the same time not support or lift up her decision?

Any advice and help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot!!!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

nate could use our support

in the interest of utilizing this space for one purpose i had envisioned, i wanted to share on behalf of my brother, nate. he is undergoing a LOT of pressure and stress at work and is in danger of losing his job in the next couple of weeks. if you could first pray, and also if you have the time, drop him a line and let him know he is being thought of/prayed for/cared about, i think it would help him quite a bit. nate always likes to be the fixer and helper, its just his heart. but i think that right now HE'S the one who could use some help. thanks. i'll give him a call on the way to work today and see if he has anything more specific he would like our prayers for.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Special Needs Corner

I just wanted to kinda get the ball rolling on some general issues. This isn't a rant kind of thing, I am not complaining, I just wanted to put this out there and invite the other special needs parents, spouses, whatever, to share what is going on. Sometimes it's just nice to have people who know what is going on.

One of my seven year old twins, Andy, was born with spina bifida (his spinal cord was open at birth), hydrocephalus (also known as water on the brain), chiari malformation (his brain stem is pulled down into his neck), and clubbed feet. Miraculously, he walks and runs, even though his lesion is at the L5 level, but he has no neural connections between his spine and his bowels and bladder, so he leaks continuously and has no control over his bodily fucntions. BUT, that is pretty small potatoes considering how incredibly functional he is. He has some learning disabilities, but nothing too bad, really just annoying, like short term memory problems which makes it hard for him to grasp basic concepts. Sometimes I really worry about him, because he is in public school with diapers (and probably always will be), but God has worked everything out so far.

I'd love to hear more about Jon's son, and if anyone else has anything they would like to share that would be great. I'd also love to hear great things in this thread, the triumphs we special needs parents have are incredible.

Monday, September 22, 2008

From Manuela

This was over in the comments of another one, but I wanted to give her a post of her own until she gives me permission to make her a contributor.

I have dealt with/ talked lot of my abuse issues (sexual, emotional, etc, though not much on my blog), but I also know it's a constant process and battle. I'm thankful my husband is very supportive.
I left the IC a little over a month ago. The counselor I was seeing through it became pretty judgemental when I told him what I was doing. I had to stop seeing him too. Also, many of the friends I had there are barely around now... it's tough, but I sort of sensed it was gonna happen in a way. What I did scares them, I can tell... so I guess you can all pray for me in this new place I'm at... I've had some wonderful breakthroughs since leaving, but today was a very tough day... I wasn't feeling well either.
I'm a stay at home mom, my daughter is almost 4....I'm hoping tomorrow will be better- When I have a rough day then next day is usually better-

Sunday, September 21, 2008

A Challenging Week Ahead

Anyone who feels so inclined to pray would be appreciated. This week will see my mother in law getting a PEG, having to move my parents, and one of my son's birthday's that I have to prepare for.

I don't yet know what day mom in law will be having the procedure.

My son's "kid" party is on Friday night and we are taking 10 screaming boys to Wunderland (Nickel Arcade) and having them sleep over. Saturday night we will be having all the family over for the "family" party.

My parents want to be mostly moved out by Sunday night.

I just need energy and the ability to NOT forget anything important, and to not get sick...everyone in my family besides me has had a bad cold and I would be eternally grateful if it would hold out on me for another week or so. It would also be good if nothing else critical in nature came up this week.

Thanks all.

This site is open to anyone who wants to talk

If you would like to be added to the contributors list, just email me and I will add you so you can post. Anyone can comment, of course.

There is only one ground rule -- abuse of those who are hurting will NOT be tolerated. This is a safe place, where you can find love and realise that you are not alone. There are no wrong questions, and no one is going to slam your faith or your walk here. Be who you honestly are, that is the only person we would have you be.

You may see swearing and frustration here, but you will not see abuse. Anyone who routinely is offensive (not meaning swearing, but meaning MEAN) and abusive will be moderated or banned, or hunted down, depends on how I feel that morning.

JUST KIDDING! It's okay to joke around here and laugh too. That's life.