If you would like to be added to the contributors list, just email me and I will add you so you can post. Anyone can comment, of course.
There is only one ground rule -- abuse of those who are hurting will NOT be tolerated. This is a safe place, where you can find love and realise that you are not alone. There are no wrong questions, and no one is going to slam your faith or your walk here. Be who you honestly are, that is the only person we would have you be.
You may see swearing and frustration here, but you will not see abuse. Anyone who routinely is offensive (not meaning swearing, but meaning MEAN) and abusive will be moderated or banned, or hunted down, depends on how I feel that morning.
JUST KIDDING! It's okay to joke around here and laugh too. That's life.
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34 comments:
Oooh, first poster in Rahab's Kitchen! Yay!
Hey, this is cool!
I gotta tell you, I still really battle something in my innards that has told me it's not Ok, to just let loose, and totally let it all out. That, on top of the fact, that I'm basically a very private person (my own blogging really stretches me) challenges me in this area. But, maybe, with time, I'll be able to really let it all hang out. Thanks for providing the venue.
Sue, that figures!
Free Spirit, then just be here to support others. Share if you want to, but otherwise just come by to share in life with others. We have such a strange community here, and unless you go to someone's blog all the time, you might miss out on what is going down personally that they need love and support in. That's what this is about, just to provide a central place where we can get and give what we need from each other.
Not so much a place for blogging as it is to just share love and support.
Thank you Tyler, for taking the initiative. I'm sure this will be a great place.
hey...this is something for me to consider...(I was pondering of starting something along these lines) I will stop by as led, and possibly share. I've got some things I definately need to share... but I'm kinda where free spirit is... a bit cautious about letting it all hang out...(have been burned too many a times) it has to be the right venue for me...
Hi Manuela, we all understand where you are coming from. The reason this got going is because of another group a bunch of us here are on and we started praying for each other and someone suggested we start a prayer group but then there were some real concerns about what a prayer group as usual would entail.
Me? I despise platitudes. The last thing I want to hear when I am struggling is "Well, remember that God is good." Or, "Just have more faith." Those things feel like a slap, like, "get your hand down and shut up and pretend you are doing great just like everyone else."
Someone else was worried about people posting long winded "name it and claim it" miracle prayers. I hate those too. There are and will be, including myself, special needs parents and people here who need support, not assurances of divine healing.
Can we say that people like that won't show up? Not really, and what can you do? Will they be encouraged to do these things? No, they won't. Can we gently lead them in a different direction? Yeah, sure. Can someone who has shared their heart openly and honestly tell a person that what they said was not helpful or even damaging? I personally think that yes, this is a healthy part of body life.
I think we have every right to be real and organic here.
As of right now, I have Erin, Sue and I with full administrator status, and I plan to add to that at least two men, which will give us a wide range of people dealing with things that arise. People who are very different from each other, but who are very concerned with being loving and supportive.
I have no patience for trolls, or for people who desire nothing more than to rebuke others. This is like our house, and nobody abuses a hurting person in a loving home. Love does not enable that sort of thing.
You are absolutely justified to be anything from nervous to terrified about this :) We have all of us been burned before.
I think it's wise to test the waters. It feels like we are being somehow bitchy or uppity, in some strange way, to test the waters, especially if we have been wounded and bruised by boundary violators (and also especially if we are women, I would add).
But I hope this place is safe to share, definitely, for those of us who find it more difficult to unload or share our stuff (now, I have many many problems, but that isn't one of them, heh :)
This is just a suggestion-- what about making this site for women only and not open to the general public... a place where women can talk about their deeper wounds when they are ready to. Other women who want to share their stories are welcome to join as well, but this way it isn't open to all the public....This is what I had in mind for starting myself at some point so I won't be offended at all if it's not y'alls vision. I like this site being a place for prayer... I also realize I don't know some of you very well so I may be totally out on left field here (sorry). There are all kinds of needs out there, I know ... I guess I'm scared of anyone at all being able to read what I share if it's very personal, at this point today... anyway. Thanks for understanding/ validating that : )
I would not feel comfortable doing that here, as the people who initially made the suggestion that got us here were both men, one of whom has a child with severe special needs and really could use a place to share that (not to mention the fact that they are just beautiful, loving people with much to share with us ladies). In addition, the invitations have already been extended to them. I agree that it would be a good thing to do, perhaps someone else here can do this? I can't handle any more than I have on my plate now, sorry :(
There already are many, many places on the net for women only, and I have come to the place where, even when dealing with past sexual abuse and such, where I need my brothers to support me too.
I apologise, I know this isn't what you need right now. I wish I could help more.
Tyler, please don't worry... I totally get what you're saying, I really understand. I'll come by as led, and see what happens... I can pray and get more acquainted with some of you : ) Today was the first time I actually visited your site, Tyler... I linked to Rahab's kitchen from Kathryn's and from Rahab's to yours! I have yet to visit Erin's but i've seen you all a lot at Sue's....
But the way, I think what you are starting here is great...
I have dealt with/ talked lot of my abuse issues (sexual, emotional, etc, though not much on my blog), but I also know it's a constant process and battle. I'm thankful my husband is very supportive.
I left the IC a little over a month ago. The counselor I was seeing through it became pretty judgemental when I told him what I was doing. I had to stop seeing him too. Also, many of the friends I had there are barely around now... it's tough, but I sort of sensed it was gonna happen in a way. What I did scares them, I can tell... so I guess you can all pray for me in this new place I'm at... I've had some wonderful breakthroughs since leaving, but today was a very tough day... I wasn't feeling well either.
I'm a stay at home mom, my daughter is almost 4....I'm hoping tomorrow will be better- When I have a rough day then next day is usually better-
((Hug)) to you, Manuela
And if you ever wanna talk, email me.
wow, i love what you've done with the place! never in my wildest could i have imagined what has sprouted. and so quickly! thank you, tyler, for all the hard work. i think it will definitely be worth the effort.
freespirit and manuela, it is good to meet you. i've seen you both around, but i don't think we've been introduced before. i'm jon. been here in blogland for 3 years now. honestly, i don't think tyler and i have ever been properly introduced for that matter. but we've been playing apples to apples together for months now.
i brought some flowers, coffee, and of course, some death by chocolate. enjoy the house warmers.
i do have a son with severe disabilities. although, now that i have a 16 month old "typically abled" dauhgter, i often wonder who it is with the disability... :-)(HE never tells me "no" or does anything defiant)
i hope that healing and true relationship bonds may be built. i would never want to stand in the way of that because of gender. if you need this place more than i, to have a safe environment to share, i don't mind at all. but before you finalize your decision, i would just like to say:
i have been where you're at and i'm betting you feel like you're inner emotional skeleton has been crushed to the point of powder and you're just laying like a completely wasted lump incapable of doing anything else but to just lie there and weep softly at the pain? am i close?
we've all been there! in fact, i've never been lower in my life. i remember my ordeal with exiting the IC and it wasn't pretty.
i don't know what you're future holds and i don't want to pepper you with trite phrases. rather i just want you to know you're not alone. there are more than a few of us who have come out the other side alive. scarred, but alive nonetheless. and what a life it is!
i hope that i might be able to offer something of worth to your journey. if it helps at all, i'm NOT like a man in several ways. i hate football. (the american kind, sue. calm down.) and i would rather have a cup of coffe and a conversation more than just about anything.
so here's to tomorrow being a better day for you, manuela.
*lifts cup, sips, sets down on saucer*
So which cabinet are the cookies in? Just as in my house, you are only a guest once; after that you're on your own cause now you're family
Oh yeah Tyler. Great Job on the design. Thanks for getting on this so fast!!
Jon, nice to officially meet you then, lol. The flowers will go very nicely on the back patio, I would think, it has a large wooden deck overlooking a lake, which she keeps well stocked if you get a hankering to provide us with some fish for brunch.
And Mike, cookies aren't kept in the cupboard around here, but they will be coming out of the oven in about 2 minutes.
I am going to set up a photo album for people here to contribute to, if they so desire.
Manuela, until I get your permission to put you on as a contributor, I am going to move your post so we can all give you the space you deserve.
Love the idea you all. Don't know if i'll write much but would love to stay in touch to pray or offer some encouragement.
Thank you Jon, nice to meet you. You don't seem so bad, for a guy...: )
Your description- "i have been where you're at and i'm betting you feel like you're inner emotional skeleton has been crushed to the point of powder and you're just laying like a completely wasted lump incapable of doing anything else but to just lie there and weep softly at the pain? am i close?"- is pretty darn close to where I'm at. I woke up pretty depressed and feeling alone in the world, only to find such lovely people with love, cookies and CHOCOLATE, Wow... Thank you...!
Tyler...really, thank you and thank you for posting my shpeel : ) I'm so happy to meet you
...I don't know about the darth vader dude... (jk :) )
BARB! Long time no see. We could really use your wisdom and encouragement around here :D
I've been reading everyone but have been so busy that have not had the time to comment much at all. After Christmas is my slow season. I own a chimney business so it has been hectic!
I love this idea!
This is great. And the kitchen looks so cosy and inviting.
Barbara and Dalila welcome, sorry I missed your responses. We hope to see more of you both.
Hey all, I am so glad I found this place. I am looking forward to getting to know you all and being as real as possible through this journey with all of you.
In Freedom, Nicole!
Hi all, I have been under deconstruction for about 4 months now.. it's been a messy ride of clearning out the junk of coming out of an abusive church as well as coming out of an extremely charismatic church that went way overboard.
Just popped in to say HI and will drop in now and then:) It's good to have a support structure like this.. anyway, See you Soon :)
Welcome, hope to see you again very soon :D
Hey Getting There
Ahh, deconstructing is about 14 million times more messy than we would wish for it, isn't it ;) Welcome
Thanks for the warm welcome! So is everyone here under decontruction and how long has it been for you..
Well, me personally, I feel like I have been through the worst of the deconstructing and have now had new stuff constructed and it is worth every moment of disorentation and anger and tears and feeling like God isn't there and whatever else needs to come. It's all worth it.
PS: The process for me started in earnest when I left the IC about 8 years ago.
Getting There - I left church about 4 years ago. I'm the one who left a whole bunch of comments on different posts on your blog yesterday. I just so related to your writing and wanted you to know you're not alone.
Most of us here are in some phase of deconstruction, but I'm not sure everyone is.
Hi Erin, thanks for your posts! it's encouraging to know that I am not alone! I am still going to browze your blog! See you there!
Hey Tyler Dawn, how does someone go about posting here? do you have to have an invite? i'm just not sure how to do it.
Barb - I sent you an invite.
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