Sunday, October 3, 2010

Peeps?

If I throw a brick through the window in this place...will anyone notice?

28 comments:

wanting more said...

Dammit, Michelle! You just hit me in the knee! ;) How are you?

One Voice of Many said...

18 years..it's over.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U&ob=av3e

dysfunction is dysfunction.....and earlier to see outside of the religious realm. Fuck this pals...fuck this.......

One Voice of Many said...

i meant to say -- easier to see......
pardon the extreme amount of alcohol... it is what it is..
peeps? you out there?

Erin said...

Uh oh, that doesn't sound good. What's up?

One Voice of Many said...

Erin - remember our last convo's? same shit...different day.
Time to draw up some papers

One Voice of Many said...

sorry peeps.... melodrama boosted by alcohol...
didn't have anywhere else to plop down at the moment

Sue said...

Damn, sorry to hear, Michelle :(

One Voice of Many said...

Thanks Sue...it's some shit. I hope to find love here. I sure need it at the moment

Sue said...

Well, we're all ears. A big giant ear for whatever you want to talk about :)

One Voice of Many said...

Thanks Sue.

I don't even know where to start. Just was very frustrated that after 18 years of circling round and round we finally call it off. I'm not regretful about the calling it off part.. I'm frustrated on how much time has gone by to get to this point.

Erin said...

I think it's time to get off the merry-go-round, hon. Really. It's time. Better things are in store...

One Voice of Many said...

I know Erin. And I agree. And he finally agrees. There's been no talk of backing down. We are still committed to being friends - which I think is healthy for the kids' sake and even to get through this without crucifying each other.

But it's definitely time to get off the crazy train.

Sue said...

Sounds like you're in a good space in the bad space - if you're wanting to keep it as decent as possible without crucifying each other. That's good - the more painful way, though.

I'm sorry, Michelle. This sort of stuff just sucks so badly. My relationship lasted for 10 years with no children, and it was such a wrench when it was over. An extra 8 and some kids on top - even harder. ((Hug))

One Voice of Many said...

Sue -
We have three children: 10 yrs, 8 yrs, and about to be 7 yrs. They've heard the fighting of course. They've seen one of us storm out and stay gone. All of that has been so taxing on them. At least now with direction, the fighting has stopped.

It is definitely more difficult to this friendly. We feel bad for each other in spite of everything. Seems like it'd be easier just to storm off in a fit of anger and not look back. But as one of my girlfriends tells me -- I never do anything the normal way. Hate to disappoint NOW.
ha

Mike said...

Hey Michelle ~ Sorry to hear of your trials. I feel your pain as I have spent the last two years (roughly) recovering from my divorce but I am happy to see that the parting is amicable. That is so important for the kids.

I am wishing for very good things to come your way!!

One Voice of Many said...

Thanks Mike - I remember when you announced where you guys had come. Didn't I FB you about that? My memory is faded from the tons of alcohol I've consumed over all of this process. ;-)

Growing apart and not being able to communicate just can't be ignored anymore.

Today is a good day for me. I feel hopeful and supported and loved. I'll appreciate it while it's here.

How has your process gone for you? -- if you care to share, that is.

Ruth said...

Sorry I'm late.....glad you checked in Michelle...been wondering about you. BIG HUG

One Voice of Many said...

It's ok Ruth,
I'm plugging along at details.
Still moving forward. Scared to death about money but I feel good about the rest of it.

Mike said...

Hey Michelle. The only thing that I did right in the last couple of years was in reference to the divorce. Our divorce was completely amicable and to this day, we remain very good friends. This was so important for Morgan's sake and he has adjusted well. Fortunately, he was young enough that for him to not see us together and do the exchange thing every week is completely normal for him and a part of his schedule that he looks forward to (I think) LOL

As for me, I did the alcohol thing with my first divorce so I didn't go there this time. However, I have spent the last year and a half doing stupid things and engaging in self destructive behaviors; mostly trying to figure out who I am again. I think that's the part that takes the longest.

At last, I have arrived and I know that you will make it to that point too.

Manuela said...

how are u? you're in my thoughts

One Voice of Many said...

I understand about the alcohol as well as the stupid things we do to find ourselves again, Mike. Thanks for sharing that. We try to cope as best we can, don't we?

Manuela - I have had a really bad day today but not because of regrets. Just a lot to carry and walk through. We are still being friendly and supportive. Hell he talked me down from an anxious fit. We're weird like that to be friendly - like Mike described in his post. Nothing like idealism to help in transition. I am thankful.

One Voice of Many said...

For anyone following this, we've told the kids. They've spent the last two nights with him and they're doing really well with it. He's been more present and involved with them than he's been in weeks and weeks.

We're being friendly, and I'm feeling relieved and rested. I'm sure the tide will come in and out but for now at least... I'm already feeling relief.

Erin said...

I'm glad the kids are doing ok, and I'm glad you are feeling well about it. It will be tides, but hopefully always moving in the right direction toward wholeness for everyone.

Sue said...

Wow, that must be a weight off your mind and heart and stuff, having told the kids.

I feel like I can feel it from here ...

One Voice of Many said...

Thanks Erin and Sue. Yes, I do feel a lot of relief having that big hurdle behind us and seeing them accept it so well. I do expect them to have bad days but we're going very slowly which will hopefully help them ease into the changes. It helps having two houses on the property. They can run across the field to see either one of us any time. That won't last a long long time - he'll find an apartment somewhere but it's a good start for them, I think.

One Voice of Many said...

Tomorrow is my youngest child's birthday. He'll be seven. I'm also signing divorce papers at 1:30 Eastern Time.
Think of me please.

Erin said...

Sigh...I'm sorry hon. Maybe not for the divorce, but for the finality of it, the emotions of it, and for healing time it takes.

I hope somewhere there is a great birthday in all of this!

Yes, I will think of you all.

One Voice of Many said...

Thank you, Erin.