My six year old son is very agile. You should see him break dance.. he pulls moves that if I had to try it, it would make my bones scream while breaking! He is like a little gymnast.
He is very little for his age. He likes to pull stunts like in the movies, all those karate moves. The teachers want to keep him back a year because they say he has a lack of self confidence (which is strange because at home, he is very self confident) anyway they recommend that he takes part in karate to build his self confidence and create discipline.
I would like your opinion on this.. do karate teachers teach beyond karate.. I don't want him learning about buhdda! or any other funny kinds of meditation or extra biblical teaching! I do think he will benefit if he learns to defend himself!
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I rather think that the kitchen of an innkeeper wrongfully accused by history of being a harlot would be a safe place to lay down my burdens and sorrows. I believe she would have a willing and patient ear, a compassionately forgiving heart, a nonjudgemental spirit, and the grace that can only come from enduring thousands of years of slander. I also think that, if I would like to talk to anyone about Jesus, it would be this grandma more than any other person in history.
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15 comments:
hey
I have a son very similar and he has now been doing tykwondo for a year which has iproved his self confidence and motor control. We asked very specific questions of the teacher and they do not go into the spiritual stuff but some do so you will need to shop around. But I highly recomend it- be warned though the karate high kicks just get worse and are now known as practice
these may seem like a strange questions, but... are you personally afraid of buddhism? or just afraid of your son learning about it? and if so, why?
i'm just talking off the cuff here, but i would think that if he encountered anything you might find questionable it would provide a good ground for the two of you to tackle issues of faith together.
HI Jon and thanks for that question because it does open an interesting can of worms, a very good topic!! I would say to be honest I am afraid of it.. He is young still and very impressionable. His teacher at school is 'always right'. Even if I tell him 'no, your teacher is not always right' he will persist in saying that. He has a high respect for those who are older than him, especially those who are in authority.
He fears teachers and I keep telling him, respect is one thing but to be scared is another thing altogether..
In essence he is young and I have this bear like protection over him, especially with regards to faith. We are to teach our children our faith.. He believes in Jesus and always asks the funniest questions, like 'does God blow green smoke out of his mouth.' or 'how did God make himself' and so on..
But I have issues with other faiths.. I could be wrong in having so many issues but I really want my son secure in knowing Jesus!
Lou, thanks for your comment, I will do my research :)
I'm just thinking that listening to your gut may be the best here. The Lord has given you wisdom to raise your very special child.
If you have brought it here to ask us about it, your gut may be saying something different than the teacher is. ?? Just a guess here.
His teacher is seeing him amidst the world, his peers and people he is not intimate with. He is seeing him for one moment in time so to speak. This is not how your son will stay. He will grow and mature and be just fine. You see him at home where he feels completely safe. To me this is a more accurate picture of who he will be as he gets used to the world around him.
Building 'anything' he is good at will promote these things. If he likes to tumble, gymnastics may be cool. There is soccer and hockey and a world of sports out there that build confidence and promote team work.
Just remember that karate is a martial art ... an art of war. I think Buddhism is the least of your worries. As he learns more of it he will learn how to seriously harm another individual. Probably at this tender age they will not focus on this so much but they will later. It will be under the teaching of self defense.
But just let me share a personal story with you. My sons and I took some karate for a couple of years. In my class we learned how to seriously harm another individual as self defense.
My youngest was 6 or 7.
He came home one day unable to speak well. He had lost his voice. He was painfully able to tell me that one of the boys at school had karate kicked him in the throat. He was a boy more advanced in the art than my son with his little yellow belt.
Not to go against anyone here... just wanted to give a different perspective ...
No offense I hope Lou.
Valorosa, thanks for your input here. I do see that the teacher is comparing my son to others who are more extroverted in public. I think he is just fine. He is a bit attached to me, that being my fault in not given him the freedom.. I have held him back in the sense that he still sleeps in my bedroom.. so he does not like change, new places too much.. he is somewhat shy with strangers but around me he is a holligan!
Gymnastics might be just right for him.. He is extremely good, he does cart wheels, back flips, front flips and drives me crazy with some of the things he can do. He has a quad bike where fear has no meaning and he goes full speed ahead and I say a quick prayer for him while he is going about it.
I shouldn't base my dicision on 'teacher's' opinons.. I must stop doing this! They don't know everything and I guess i do know what is best for my child. He is so soft natured, caring and why should i want to change that. So what if he isn't like the rest of them, bold and extraverted.. he is quiet around strangers and that can be a good thing.
Most people say to me, ' your son is so good." He lives up to my expectations. Even though he might not live up to the teacher's expectations, he goes way over my expectations purely because he is my son! I am unsure of karate.. and i am unsure of the teacher's opinion also. I am sure that I have a brilliant boy!
Hey, how old is your son? I am just curious. I think karate is awesome, and he would probably flourish in being more active and learn more skills in karate. Depending on his age, I believe that the buddhism stuff will not make a difference if he knows the truth and believes in it!
I will pray that Father will give you an answer...
About his teacher. You know your son a heck of a lot better. I wouldn't just go along with everything his teacher says. I would probably ask him a couple of questions about how he feels in school if you feel comfortable with that!
Anyway, just my 2 cents!
I can't believe they want to hold your son back for being shy! Where I live, they don't hold back kids even when they should. If your son is only 6 he must be in 1st grade. I think it takes a little time for some kids to feel sure of themselves in school. I think you know your child best and can advocate for him.
As far a Karate goes, I would say that it would not produce confidence if he is socially shy as much being on a ball team would because of the comraderie that is built. In karate, they have to shut up and listen to the teacher and it sounds like your son has no problem doing that.
My daughter took Tykwondo at age 7 to 9 and really loved it. She wanted to join but I had the same concerns about the spiritual implications. For the most part, the teaching is all about virtue and character and I didn't get a sense of any spiritual dynamics to be cautious about. However, it's one thing to teach your children what other people believe and another to place them under the authority of someone who might be heavily into other spiritual practices because there is a spiritual realm out there that affect us on earth.
I think as mom's we can trust our gut about our children while still being open to the observations and input of others.
Getting there, Advice from friends is good and some of the advice I see is good, but it is all going to throw you into confussion about your son.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what HE wants you to do. You will be really very surprised at the peace you will get when you make the right decision.
We will all be praying for you.
No offence taken at all :) I agree martial art can be about violence. That is why we did our research very carefully
Where Jay goes they focus is on self defence they have a very strict rules about practise and where is appropriate to practice and where is not. They do not do hand to hand combat until they are 13. Much of the class is spent practising how to deal with bullies both big and little and this always starts with verbally asking them to stop, then running away and finding an adult and then only when these things fail using specific targetted physical moves to allow themt to get away. I have noticed more control in his physical outbutsts and when he does we have a reference point for what is right and what is wrong. On the spiritual side,there is a difference, I think between talking about different faiths and allowing our kids to be actually involved in spiritual rituals. Ofcourse we have to be oopen and honest with our kids about others beliefs. Personally I wouldnt want my kids being invovled in another religions rituals and prayers without me being there or at all infact I just dont think at 6 they are mature enough to cope with it. But that is just my opinion and I am open to being to being wrong
In the end you have to do what is right for you and yours.
Wouldnt the world be a horrible place if we were all extraverts. I think the teacher is being very unfair!
My son took Tae Kwon Do for awhile, and he loved it. His teacher didn't teach anything related to Eastern Religions. They didn't meditate. They were asked to have self-control, and if he heard they were using their moves outside of class (to hurt someone, etc.) they were in the doghouse with him.
My son responded very well to this man. His self-control, coordination, and confidence were much improved.
I would suggest you sit in on whatever class you are thinking of having him join to be certain of what they will be teaching your child. Ask the teacher if they teach meditation or anything like that. If you feel uncomfortable don't do it.
Blessings!
HW
I say follow your gut instincts about your son as far as having him held back in school. You know him far better than the teachers. When my son was in 2nd grade something similiar happened and I wanted to be able to observe his school behavior on my own to see if the teachers were right...but of course with MOM in the room the kid is going to act anything but normal! So I enlisted the help of a friend and had her sit in on a morning of class and observe my son (he had no clue she was there to ovserve just him). The teacher was fine with this - if she had not been I would have wondered why. So anyhow, my friend was able to tell me what I needed to know. It seems kind of elaborate, but it helped.
About karate - I THINK ITS GREAT! My son also took karate for a few years and it totally builds their confidence, gives them some skills that they hopefully won't need to use and gets them around other kids doing something active. I would stay and watch most of the time. You can up front ask the teacher what he teaches but most of them, if taught through a community program, don't teach spiritual things, they stick to the moves. I am not sure about the private karate studios. Good luck!
Sounds like you've gotten some really great advice...ask God, follow your heart.
I am a large advocate of the martial arts, as I've been involved in them for many years, and have also been an instructor.
What many have said...ask questions, get involved, watch! It's usually alot of fun, lotsa energy...and the focus is in being people of integrity. There is places that will be more about the fighting and winning...that's what you would catch if you sat in.
Hope this helps!
hey- I would say prayerfully consider it and shop around for something martial art-ish that you're comfortable with... and see how it goes? I don't have a boy... I'm dealing with cutesy ballet classes now :D !!
Wow, thanks for all the comments. I have a broad spectrum of unbiased comments here which is great! You guys Rock!
What I am going to do, is wait until I have my own car so that when I do place him in somewhere, I have the ability to watch and get involved with him. I want to be able to see what's going on and I will do my research and prayerfully consider it.
As for the teacher, the education council gets to decide more. So I leave it in God's hands, whatever happens, happens. He has met a lot of friends in our complex where we live and he goes to play with them quite often.. I am cutting my unbellical cord and giving him the space he needs instead of being the choking mother I have been.
As far as the shyness goes, I love that part about him because he always deals with people with respect it is just that at his tender age he is set up for being a bit of a people pleaser, even with peers. I always tell him, be the leader not the follower but I guess I have to leave that in God's hands too. His dad is shy, I remember 10 years ago when I met his dad, my husband had to get himself grossly drunk just to get my telephone number hahah.. let's hope my son doesn't follow suit..
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