Guys, I am sorry I have been gone. I get overwhelmed and I retreat from life. I got hit really hard a few weeks back (well, a few months back) with a part of my life that I thought was over, a part that I wish was over. It isn't that it is a bad thing, but it is a thing that plays into my fears of rejection and judgment. I am living in constant dread and I hate that.
I need to emerge and start living life again. But when this happens I also feel the need to be separate, like I am some kind of freak or something.
Anyway, i have been living selfishly in many ways and that needs to stop. I have to stop hiding and retreating for the sake of my husband and kids, and for my sake too.
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9 comments:
Tyler... {{HUG}}... I understand. And you are not rejected or feared here.
What Katherine said. Love to you.
I have the tendency to hide away as well and then, of course, feel guilty for it. I love this group being so fluid and accepting. We all need it!
we're here whenever you need. and now we're praying. i know how easy it is to stop sharing when things get overhwelming or depressing. i have the same tendency. like i don't want to rain on the parade. but, for me, it just usually bottles up inside until i do or say some really stupid things that hurt the ones i love most.
so here's praying for you and your husband and your boys for whatever situation seems to be rearing its head again.
that you would have strength for the fight, confidence in yourself, wisdom to know which is required, and a unique peace about your heart and home that would pervade and even annoy those who would seek to rile you and your family!
Hey, awh, love to ya
I know how you feel... it sounds like many of us can relate to not wanting to be a burden or being afraid of being rejected... Everyone feels this way at one time or another. I think feeling low or depressed makes us more fearful that normal; I know it does me. It stinks, i know, cause that's when we really need love and support. I actually went through that this weekend.
I don't thinks this place is like the IC that expects people to get their shit together real fast (as Sue would put it) not at all. We need to be raw and real and be accepted in it.... Thanks for being real and sharing how you feel. That took courage : )
We love you and lift you up in prayer. We are a family and you're a very vital part!!!!
Idea- maybe every other day or every couple days we should keep each other updated on stuff through an "update" post, where anyone who wants to shares can? Or have ongoing weekly prayer requests post, where anyone can write down brief requests, as needed... Just some ideas. I'll post about them and see what people think...?
love, manu
I understand the pulling away and isolating...You are not alone in that. Hoping you feel better.
I just feel like God is forcing me back into place where I do not really want to be. At one point I did want it, but not anymore. Now I wish like hell I could be something other than what I was made to be. Nothing in my life has been normal, and sometimes I long for the simplicity that so many seem to have. The white bread, normal walk.
Yeah. That would be awesome wouldn't it. Think about it though, would you want to go back to being nothing more than a drone? I know that I wouldn't.
I am so praying for you Tyler, you and you're whole family. I pray that the answers that you need will be there when you need them and that until then, you find comfort in the knowledge that they are there.
I know what you mean Tyler. What God requires of us, we really can't do on our own!!! It's his work in us...
I'm with Mike; I vote NO to returning to droneness and NO to empty, loveless "happiness" but I know what it's like to ask God, what do you want from me?!!
I know he'll come through and give you comfort and peace where it counts! Hang on. Seriously I had a hellish weekend and few days prior. My mental agony was beyond what I can explain... ... God did finally bring some relief. I'm praying for you.
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