I know the holidays can be a very hard time for many people. Aside from the craze and insane materialism, there is also a lot of pressure and stress on folks having to deal with difficult family situations or family members, etc, and for others it can be a very lonely time.
I know this time is pretty hard for me. I deal with a lot of depression and grief during this time, most every year. Part of it is the mess of what remains of my childhood family, missing my mother... and also feeling like so much of it is a charade. But we try to make the best of it for my daughter, you know, build meaningful times.
So, how is everyone dealing with the holidays...? Are there some special situations we need to lift up in prayer. How can we pray for one another?
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Hey, glad you brought this up!!! Christmas should be fine, but it is when my side of the family who get together for New Years for our family Christmas time... As everyone knows, My sister left her husband and went to go live with her ex husband. Now my mom and dad don't really want to have our family Christmas because of my sister bringing her ex husband to the house, however, they act like its out of their hands who comes to their house for our family thing. So, it will be very interesting and awkward if my sister brings him to the house... We still are not sure if she is bringing him, but for some reason I have a feeling that she will. So strange times indeed... I guess it is bound to happen that we are forced to accept her choices!!!
I'm OK celebrating with my sons and husband. But outside of that small circle, anxiety starts to build when I try to meet the expectations of others. Who's going to need a gift or a card? How much is enough? Even among a fellowship group that we attend there is a nervous, scurry around kind of energy about taking on the task of 'blessing' a needy family for Christmas. I hope the whole project turns out all right.
Funny you should bring this up. I really hate Christmas lol.
Especially after today. I was speaking with my Jewish friend and she was confiding to me how difficult this time of year is to Jews and how nasty Christians can be. And how awful it is to be bombarded with church invitations and the disapproving stares when she turns them down or shares about Hannukah (which I don't get because it celebrates a beautiful and very compassionate miracle -- why would anyone disapprove?).
I felt sick in my heart that I am the only person she can talk to about this (because she knows how I feel about religion and I have expressed to her on MANY occasions how much to KNOW God adores the Jews and how fortunate I believe she is to be among God's chosen people).
All this "love and giving" is pure crap when viewed with objectivity from the outside. She described how it looks from the outside and I was astounded -- because it sounds like an out of church person talking about church! Wow!
From what I understand, Christmas is actually a pagan holiday...the Christians just adopted it/adapted it to meet their beliefs. When Christ was actually born was either in the fall or after the first of the year...I've also read that the lights and tree and songs and decorations were an attempt to encourage folks during the cold, long dark days...
So...this year I'm just questioning it all. Again. Why? I do really enjoy the decorations and music and getting ready for winter/ etc...
This month is always hard if we have to visit my side of the family...good if going to my hubby's side. This year, we're doing our own thing ALONE! yay!
We are also very very low on funds this year with many unexpected expenses come up, so we didn't really have a choice about adopting a family or buying presents. I'm not sure what we're going to do on Christmas day, but I'm NOT making a turkey!
I don't think I even answered your question, Manuela! It's too early and I am chugging my coffee!!!
Actually, it wasn't so long ago that the celebration of christmas was banned by the church! Isn't that funny? So much drunkeness and excess and the Puritan church of the 17th century shut it down for about 30 years but finally caved to public pressure to reinstate it as a "Christian" holiday. It had everything to do with outcry and nothing to do with Jesus lol
Dec 25 is celebrated in many religions associated with Tammuz, Isis and Osiris, Jupiter, Mithras -- but became very popular in 800 AD when Charlemagne was coronated on December 25. Christianity adopted it from the pagans in 336, but the celebrations were some of them thousands of years old (Rome's version was about 50 years old at the time).
I LOVE Christmas. I love it because it's a turning point in the year, out of the dark back into the light. I love it because I love lights in the darkness. I love the smell of pine and I love cookies. I love getting together with my family....yes it can be rough and stressful and my youngest brother is not speaking to my sister and therefore refuses to come to Christmas, but we'll deal...I love candles and fires in the fireplace. I love my kids faces on Christmas morning.
Most of these things could happen even if there wasn't Christmas. That just makes it better. I deal with severe winter depression and Christmas gives me something to hope on and enjoy. Anyhow, we have to have some kind of celebration or festivity in the dead of winter! (Except I realize our friends in Australia and other southern places have Christmas in the summer.)
I'm with Erin. Christmas to me has been a huge event in my family since I can remember and not on a religious standpoint, but a time to celebrate friends and family. Christmas time is the only time of year when I get to see my family all together at once. I understand what the jewish people believe and in my own opinion, they don't have to celebrate it if they don't want to, but that doesn't mean that those who like Christmas can't. I have some jewish friends who just stopped celebrating Christmas and honestly, that is based on their religious views. So to me, religion is religion no matter how you look at it!!
I don't know why we class Christmas as a gathering that is superiorly above any other family gathering.
It just isn't.
And New Years is not any different than any other party time no matter how you celebrate it.
If you really think about this ...
Is it really any more heartbreaking at Christmas as it is the rest of the year to deal with family issues?
Not really at all ... it just seems that way.
Peace and Goodwill to all is a daily thing ...
Love and forgiveness or the lack of is a daily thing and people are people any time of the year.
I like Christmas as well, but if I was a Jew I would like their celebrations or whatever celebrations there are .
My sponsored child in Cambodia sends me Water Day cards for their celebration over there.
I like celebrations of any kind.
Fun is fun
So this year make Christmas fun for whoever comes through your doors and if you are going to others homes, bring the fun with you.
The Joy of the Lord, the freedom of the Spirit of the Living God, the Grace we understand to be for the whole world.
My son in law is upset with me right now because he made a poor decision involving my oldest grandson(his child) back in September that I could not keep my mouth shut about.
He still holds a grudge about this.
My daughter started working for the first time since their kids have been born and she is not handling the extra stress well. Too much yelling at her kids which breaks my heart, (not that I ever yelled at my kids when they were small LOL) So in the midst of all this family stuff, here is Christmas.
My drug using brother is angry with me right now. ;-)
There's not many families who aren't suffering this way.
Some families are sitting in hospital rooms right now attending their loved ones who may or may not live or be discharged before the holidays begin.
Some will attend funeral services this year.
C'est la vie
I learned when my kids were small that stressing over Christmas takes away your ability to enjoy what is there.
So just go with it and enjoy the very cool things that go on in this holiday get together time.
Enjoy it your way.
With that, my peeps I am off to get some more shopping done.
I have 17 family members to get gifts for.
Five kids and their significant others and five grandchildren and my Dad and his wife and two precious volunteers who run the Special Olympics sports my son is involved in.
It's a GREAT time and giving is always on the agenda.
I'm working now, but when I'm old and really grey and retired, which I hope I make it to ... I will have even more to buy for and probably less funds but I will find something for each and every one even if it has to be a lollipop and a great big hug and kiss.
Thanks for sharing y'all. yeah, it's different for each of us. I like what Erin and Valorosa said about making the best of it... Sometimes it's challenging to do so.
Tyler, I know, some people can act so self-righteous during the holidays, as if their way is the only way! It can get way out of hand. I agree. I go through period of hating "christmas" too ( hating all the lame stuff about it..! )
Kari, I'm with you. Our family is trying to find our way. We are doing our own thing this holilday too!! We are going to Chicago just the three of us, for a change and for fun! We need to do something different. We'll celebrate Jesus' birth there, in our nice hotel (even if it's not on his actual birthday...) Maybe we'll sing some songs and play games... maybe we'll go ice-skating if it's not too freezing out!
It's cool getting to know more of you and what your lives are like some :)
I am one of the Christmas haters. For my little circle of relatives it's just an obligatory, money wasting, time forcing event. I'm always relieved when it's finally over. I haven't even started shopping yet. Maybe I think if I don't acknowledge it, it won't actually happen? That might work for the grown ups but that morning would greet me with three very disappointed children.
I suppose I should hit the stores soon...
Michelle! Do it all online! Almost everyone has free shipping!!! I hate shopping...but if I can do it online, it's fun.
kari
The last two Christmases after my marriage breakup were almost unbearable. It was like when I was sick, and having to gear up to do this - what, this pointless enterprise, in many ways - just choked me up with resentment, you know?
This year it feels so much easier. The commercialism aspect is much more low-key around where I am, which is such a welcome relief! I haven't had to listen to one version of Jingle Bell Rock yet, always a blessing!
And this year, I feel like I'm done with angry deconstructing of what a stupid thing Christmas is, and just accepting it and enjoying the bits that are fun. I am going to a church building (gasp!) on Christmas Eve with my cousin and her boys to sing carols, and then we're gonna go looking at lights. I look forward to that, and getting together with the family.
Which brings me to my prayer request. AS some of you know, my brother is a bit cut adrift at the moment, trying to work out what to do in his life, and has been staying with me on and off for six weeks. The past two weeks he has been away working but he is back this weekend, and I can feel the stress levels begin to rise again. I don't want him back here. I can't have him back here. It just rips up my soul, and I can't deal with that. So my prayers are for this situation. Can you pray that my brother will see the options before him, that something will come up for him and his dog (rental accommodation in Melbourne is like hen's teeth at the moment)? I feel unsafe right now, sitting here feeling like he is going to come back again. Even though I also feel competent to deal with telling him that I can't have anyone stay here at the moment because I need to look after my health (which is true, but really, if I had a friend, say, needing somewhere to stay, I would have them here in a heartbeat. It's just him, and he drains me, and I am starting to see (thank you for your help here, Tyler) how I need to guard against people who drain me.
So yeah, anyway. Prayers for this situation would be helpful. I can feel myself tensing up again.
Manuela -
I did most of it online last year. This year I've just sat staring at the computer thinking "frig..I don't know what to get these people!"
will definitely pray Sue!
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LOL, Michelle!
I haven't done any shopping either... Just got back from the mall and now I'm grumpy (I bought nothing) my daughter was a bit of a handful, though.
I'm feeling quite lazy about this holiday... a little brain dead too
Well, I always procrastinate...!! I seem to "get it done" under extreme adrenaline!?! lol (ugh- but then I crash! I don't wanna do that this year...)
I love Christmas within my immediate family, but always manage to feel more than slightly uncomfortable at our extended family get togethers where the family pecking order is subtly brought to the fore.
It seems like a silly prayer request, but I am doing a few shifts over this holiday season, but they clash with my family gathering as well as a gathering of friends I have been invited to and can't see any practical way of it working out. I'm without a car and in the country so getting to work will be impossible if my family goes away and I don't.
Selfish, I know, but I do value the time we share together, especially as it's been a diffitcult year for all of us in different ways.
on a broader note for the world ... have you looked in to my blog?
here
here???sa.blogspot.com
LOLOLOL
Sorry I haven't been around in awhile. Been busy being depressed and freaking out over my son and his issues.
I don't like the holiday season. It seems that every negative thing that's happened in my life has happened in December including my dad dying, being raped, one of my best friends committing suicide...oh and my son being born. That was a good thing at the time :)
Anyhow I am going to catch up on reading here and send my prayers out. Not sure if I believe in prayer but I love to pray.
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