I feel bad showing up here after not really being around much lately, but I am desperate.
I shared a while back that my son was using drugs. I thought he stopped (he did stop for a while). To make a long story short, he's shooting up cocaine. I found out today when his school called to tell me that they had him detained in the office, with a cop, because his teacher thought he looked high. He was coming down from last night.
I knew something was wrong and I think I knew, but was in denial. I asked him daily and he lied to me, I chose to believe the lies even though all signs pointed to drugs.
So, eh's suspended and will most likely be expelled (the principal is recommending that). His life took a sharp turn today and he's not a happy person.
I am weary.
I can't force him to get help.
I don't know what to do.
So here I am, crying out to my Chrisitans brothers and sisters and asking them to cry out to God. I am even going to cry out to Him myself. I realize that its not my lack of faith in God that has kept me away from Him, but my anger. Lots and lots of anger.....and now this.
Do I get mad at God for it or do I turn to him in it? I want so desperately to believe...because if he's real, then he really can intervene and change my son.
Thanks for caring.
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Hi Barb.
This is truly "downer" news and I am most definitely praying for you. I understand about how it is to feel that God is so far away because that's where I have been lately.
Even so, I am praying for all concerned here, especially you. It seems like that outside of intervention, things won't change. I get the feeling that he doesn't want to and I see it all of the time.
I hope that you can feel this cyber (((hug))) and know that its genuine and that your needs are in my prayers.
thank you, Mike, I did feel the hug and it was appreciated.
Will be praying...
Big Hugs sweetie. I am praying for both of you, you WILL make it through this.
This post was on my heart all night last night. I am praying for you...Don't give up on your son...even if it's just a thought in your head that he might get through this, keep hope and let him know it. I am praying that he will want to stop...hang in there...tho that is probably what you have been doing through all of this...don't give up!!! Don't give up on him either...
You're in my thoughts often as well Barb. I've tried to check in on you on your blog but the one I used to visit won't let me in anymore. Is there a new secret passage way?
I do hope today has shown a little brighter for you in the direction of hope.
Michelle
God IS real, love, and you CAN turn to Him in this. He knows where you've been and why; He understands.
He is good, gracious, and compassionate - always.
And He CAN change your son's heart - if your son will let Him.
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Father, I pray for Your intervention in this situation. I pray that You would come and speak peace to your daughter's heart, and reassure her of Your love and compassion and understanding of every aspect of this situation. I pray that You would speak to her son's heart - that the reality of his choices and their consequences would sink in, and that he would be motivated to get help, and to do whatever it takes to change the course of his life for the better. I pray, God, that You would cut through the lies that he has believed and that Your truth would instead reign in his heart. I pray that he would want to choose light over darkness.
And I pray God, that you would help your daughter to be a great mom - to be there for her son as she can, and to know best how to help him. She can't fix this for him - and that's hard. We want to make everything better for our kids, and sometimes watching them suffer the consequences of their actions can be so hard - but You do it with us for love, and I pray
You would simply grant her the wisdom to know how to parent well through this situation.
And oh, Holy Spirit - be her comfort and consolation now.
In the name of Jesus, I pray all this. Amen.
Hi Barb,
I do not know you very well. I have seen you comment on other blogs, and maybe you have been aware of me. Normally lately I just read, but felt lead to say this. Please, understand that I do not know what this will mean to you, but it was put in my heart while reading. This is what came. "It's not about you." I do not know what that means, but God put it there. I hope it helps, I don't know how it could. It would only piss me off. But I will be praying for you.
It is so hard to watch your own child take the wrong turn ... a child, even though they are grown, who you remember full of youth and wonder and hopes.
How incredibly sad.
It is easy for us all to sit here and say let go of him and let God ... and that is easy for those at arms length. But this is never easy for a mother.
The Lord knows .... cry out cry out at the top of your lungs cry out and keep crying out until He answers you.
May your son be well and may you lean and fall into God's arms for peace and solace for yourself.
thanks everybody
i appreciate your comments
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