Michelle

Hi - I'm Michelle, 35 yrs old. I will have been married 16 years in a week or two and lately have come to wonder if we'll actually make it to the date. Life has been quite painful and hard lately. We left I.C. April 2006 and have only gone back to a much different and more liberal kind of group in June of this year. I said I'd never go anywhere again and I also said I'd never play music again - born and bred musician here -- but I've recently eaten those words. That part at least has been good and refreshing.

I work from home -- after quitting said job back in March they agreed to let me work remotely. I home school my three young children, 8 yr old, 6 yr old and 4 yr old. I cook, I clean, I worry, I fret, I have anxiety/panic attacks, I feel insecure most of the time -- including once I post this I'll think that I probably shouldn't have.

I'm tired and exhausted and flat worn out. I want to be ok with myself and in my head. I am no longer upset with God and church which my blog and you friends have been a huge part of that process - for that I'm thankful. Yet I still haven't reconciled many things that probably need to be regarding matters of faith. I mostly just get de-railed these days on daily living and the most recent shit-storm personally/emotionally that has blown up in my life. People that know me say that at least I'm honest. That probably means I overwhelm them with not saying "fine" when I am asked how I am doing. But, at least I got that going for me.

Pay a visit to Michelle at Diary of a Doubting Believer