Wednesday, January 21, 2009

this is zaavan.



as promised, here is zaavan, my son. he's 6 years old and has severe CP and MR. in laymen's terms, that's Cerebral Palsy and Mental Retardation. his other diagnoses are quadraparesis and microcephaly.

effectively, he cannot eat, drink, change, move, toilet... anything on his own. he requires hours of care. but that's not any different from any other kid. the attention and cares needed are just different. but, as you can imagine, it is well worth it. he is one of the best people i've ever met. i am constantly amazed that a boy with so many challenges can be the most joyful person i've ever known. he is one blissed out kid. in fact several are the nights when he wakes up laughing. and laughing and laughing and laughing. at nothing. at least, nothing that we can tell. but i have often suspected that he is able to sense things we can't.

being his dad has been nothing short of life changing. i am no longer the person i was when he was born. i have learned so much about how to communicate with people through learning how to communicate with someone who is not able to communicate through conventional means. (i.e. words) i blogged about that once before already.

every parent is different, but i know that coming to terms with zaavan was actually a quick process for me. we first got the news hours after his birth in the middle of the night. a massive seizure sent him into respitory arrest and he had to be intebated and moved into the NICU. it was thus the roller coaster began and i knew that something had to die. and what had to die were my expectations that i had for zaavan and who i hoped and dreamed he might be. he was as he is and there was no going back. nothing could change it. so i could either continue to grieve for something that never existed or i could simply accept zaavan as he is, no strings attached. i chose the latter and am glad i did. i have, of course, been overwhelmed several times at the challenges he faces, and the times when i have had to prepare myself for the possibility of his death when it has gotten bad. each time, however, he has pulled through. over and over again, grace seems to be the theme in this kid's life and i am glad to be privy.

and i am especially grateful for the near-deafening roar that went up into the spiritual ether on his behalf when i shared our challenges on december 1st. it certainly is a neverending stream of challenges. but it is also a never ending stream of overcoming those challenges, or learning how to be grateful for what we have been given. which is pretty cool.

this is zaavan. he is my perfect son, and i love him.


12 comments:

Sara said...

that's one good looking son you've got there Jon--gotta love the redheads! :) Thank you for sharing.

Nicole said...

jON! Great story, and what an amazing son you have!! Father only gives us the challenges he knows we can handle and pull through! Looks like you are doing marvelously!

Thanks for sharing the pics of him!

In Freedom, Nicole!

Anonymous said...

Jon, thanks for sharing Zaavan with us. Do you pronounce his name "Zah - vahn" or "Zah - van"? Or am I way off on both.

I can feel your love of your son coming through your words. He's blessed to have you as a Dad :)

Anonymous said...

we pronounce it "ZAY-ven".

Mike said...

He's beautiful jON. Thanks for sharing him with us here.

Anonymous said...

Jon, thanks for the prounciation, I knew I would get it wrong and I wanted to have it right.

He's a great boy. I hope this doesn't come out sounding wrong, but I think another special thing about Zaavan is that he will probably always have a sweet outlook on life, he will in some ways always be innocent and child-like. I think there's something very special about that.

Manuela said...

lovely, jON... Thanks for sharing... He's lucky to have a dad like you.
what does his name mean...? I really like it. He's precious!

Erin said...

He's a handsome fella, Jon. No kidding. My husband was a redhead as a boy, and I was hoping we'd have redheaded little dudes, but we don't.

I won't underestimate how tough this is for you as his parents, but he is very fortunate to have a dad who can see the value in him and is willing to learn through these experiences.

Heather said...

Thanks so much for allowing us to meet Zaavan. It's nice to put a face to the name.

He is truly blessed to have a father like you.

Nate said...

The T-shirt lies!!!!! He did not get his good looks from Dad.

Thanks for the pics. Have we had a Zaavanco update?

Valorosa said...

LOL

I s'pose Nate thinks he gets his good looks from his uncle in Georgia.

Jeannette Altes said...

jON, thanks for the introduction. Tell Zaavan we said 'hi' back. :-)