I should have written this about a week ago but that is the flu for you, it just leaves me braindead.
So I told you about the threat against Mark's job. Well, last sunday night I was just walking around minding my own business and I suddenly heard something from God (finally!).
It was a lie, they weren't going to fire him, they CAN'T.
So I told Mark about this and we started really praying and he felt a lot of peace. He went back to work confident and it totally drove his boss nuts! So anyway, thursday rolls around and Mark's corporate boss fesses up, out of nowhere, that they actually did not have the ability to fire him, they just wanted to -- well, manipulate him (he didn't say it like that of course, but that was the jist).
So the really awesome thing is that Mark has found two other out of church believers there who are praying blessings over the facility with him in the mornings and they are really seeing results. They are all department heads so this is really amazing.
And his boss is acting very strangely! Can't stand to be around my husband at all.
So anyway, thanks so much for holding us up in prayer, I really needed it. I am so grateful for all of you.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Thursday, November 27, 2008
more on me
I'm sorry to be so needy but.. here I am again.
My husband's Christmas party is coming up in two weeks and of course all of the co-workers will be there. He says that *their* relationship has calmed down and he tells her he's committed to his marriage and now they're friends but still good friends - more than I would prefer. Anyway, she'll be there and not only does he want us to meet, he thought it would be good for us three to meet prior to the official party, have some drinks, and break the ice. One moment I think I can manage that and be nice and bla bla and other moments I think "what?!... I can't handle that!"
I'm trying to be gracious here and understanding and all that stuff. Could anyone shed some light on this that maybe I'm not seeing -- either way? I would assume there would be a few "girl... tell him no!" with fingers snapping and stuff ;-).... but other than that. Could I actually be nice and gracious and confident and steady in the face of this?
Just to clear up any misconceptions that might arise from lack of words - no he isn't looking for a 3-way. He thinks that it would be more healthy for her to know me as well to break some of her connection with just him. He mentioned weeks ago that he'd know when she had let go of her ideal of him running away with her when she was ready to meet his wife. So CAN we be friendly? Am I just being insecure and petty when I think I'd rather go the rest of my life without meeting her?
I'm rambling... sorry. But thanks in advance.
My husband's Christmas party is coming up in two weeks and of course all of the co-workers will be there. He says that *their* relationship has calmed down and he tells her he's committed to his marriage and now they're friends but still good friends - more than I would prefer. Anyway, she'll be there and not only does he want us to meet, he thought it would be good for us three to meet prior to the official party, have some drinks, and break the ice. One moment I think I can manage that and be nice and bla bla and other moments I think "what?!... I can't handle that!"
I'm trying to be gracious here and understanding and all that stuff. Could anyone shed some light on this that maybe I'm not seeing -- either way? I would assume there would be a few "girl... tell him no!" with fingers snapping and stuff ;-).... but other than that. Could I actually be nice and gracious and confident and steady in the face of this?
Just to clear up any misconceptions that might arise from lack of words - no he isn't looking for a 3-way. He thinks that it would be more healthy for her to know me as well to break some of her connection with just him. He mentioned weeks ago that he'd know when she had let go of her ideal of him running away with her when she was ready to meet his wife. So CAN we be friendly? Am I just being insecure and petty when I think I'd rather go the rest of my life without meeting her?
I'm rambling... sorry. But thanks in advance.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving!!!
It's Thanksgiving here in the US of A... and I thought we could perhaps share a few things we are thankful for...
Wouldn't it be grand if we could all celebrate together : ) I imagine this grand kithen would produce such a marvelous feast...( but the fellowship would be the greatest part : )
Shall we have a cyber thanksgiving here?
Image from
http://www.guy-sports.com/humor/pictures/picture_thanksgiving.htm
Monday, November 24, 2008
Update
Hi all,
If you've seen my blog, you've seen a song posted that my husband wrote. He's written several lately and put music to them. This is, I think, the fifth in line from him. It's important because, although it's not a promise, it's an apology for 18 years of lots of shit.
A brief synopsis of all of my brokenness lately is that on my birthday in September he forgot again. Maybe not forgot, but refused to acknowledge. That's typical of us. Something is important to me, his neurosis kicks in (fear of being controlled) and he withdraws. I wind up feeling abandoned. So.. after one more year among many of not being acknowledged in a special way I decided in my heart, "I'm done with this". That same week my step-grandfather passed away suddenly. That was tough and my husband was supportive, friendly but also realized I was making plans to move on with my health and my life. That same week a co-worker of his -- 21 yr old girl with a new baby and a failing marriage - called my husband to profess herself falling in love with him. Thus began the whirlwind.
My husband has been very honest throughout this whole ordeal - painfully so. At least I take comfort in the fact that I haven't been deceived. However, there have been many times I have been completely taken advantage of. Many would have thrown in the towel based on his feelings for this young girl 10 times by now. Three weeks ago I told him in all calmness, "I think we're done here" and I told him he should move out. He did not want this ordeal to cost him his family and was faced with the task of dealing with several internal issues of his own. Mind you, I am not perfect. However, my junk has been being dealt with for a while now. The task at hand became determining if we could be healthy and stay together or would we be more healthy as individuals to become individuals completely. We have three children; ages 8, 6 and 5. It would be huge adjustment to "try" separation for a while - obviously.
Throughout this process we have gone back to the beginning - why did we get married to begin with? Short answer: To be like *them* (people in our church circle). We thought we'd be the next *them*. Next we adopted ideas of *that couple* and tried to force each other into the ideal that went along with that -- never really recognizing who we were as individuals and the differences we held. If we did recognize it, we found fault in it. For example - when we first met, he loved how I didn't give a crap what anyone thought. Slowly, though, he convinced me that I should consider others way above myself and I became a neurotic little obsession in need of others approval which, yes, caused him to see me as weak. Our projections onto one another, thanks to religious roles, has completely sucked the life out of each of us.
Regardless of why we got married and what has kept us together (up until now, all religious reasons) we are still here and now have three children. So, instead of walking away completely we are trying to recognize each other for who we really are, deal with our own shadows and see if we can be healthy together or not. It's a one day at a time situation.
The work-girlfriend has died down some although the situation has come and gone quite a few times lately. I think the last piece of the puzzle was put to bed last week when 'chatting' became no longer an option outside of work. I thought that was settled long before last week but.. regardless... I think it's clear now.
Sixteen years of marriage and three kids plus lots of deconstruction has given room for growth and also provided many scary options. We still are walking together for now - we'll see how it all turns.
Many weeks ago I took off my wedding rings. The rings themselves were purchased out of urging from a friend in common (one of whom we idealized at the time) and everything those pieces of gold represent are no longer what I want a part of my life. I would like to happily wear a ring again but it won't be those - they represent what I don't want -- more of the same old forced compliance. He agrees.
We've tried our damnedest throughout all of this. If we can't move on together as friends, we'll have to attempt separating as friends. My mental weakness that occurs when we go to hell is not healthy nor is his neurosis flare-ups. We'll be healthy together or we'll be healthy apart. Either way -we love each other enough to want the best for each other; regardless of what that looks like in the near future.
All of that to say - if you've listed to the song on my blog - this update gives more back-story behind it. If you comment in detail about it, please do so here and not on my blog. He visits my blog but doesn't know about this site. I'm way more candid here.
If you've seen my blog, you've seen a song posted that my husband wrote. He's written several lately and put music to them. This is, I think, the fifth in line from him. It's important because, although it's not a promise, it's an apology for 18 years of lots of shit.
A brief synopsis of all of my brokenness lately is that on my birthday in September he forgot again. Maybe not forgot, but refused to acknowledge. That's typical of us. Something is important to me, his neurosis kicks in (fear of being controlled) and he withdraws. I wind up feeling abandoned. So.. after one more year among many of not being acknowledged in a special way I decided in my heart, "I'm done with this". That same week my step-grandfather passed away suddenly. That was tough and my husband was supportive, friendly but also realized I was making plans to move on with my health and my life. That same week a co-worker of his -- 21 yr old girl with a new baby and a failing marriage - called my husband to profess herself falling in love with him. Thus began the whirlwind.
My husband has been very honest throughout this whole ordeal - painfully so. At least I take comfort in the fact that I haven't been deceived. However, there have been many times I have been completely taken advantage of. Many would have thrown in the towel based on his feelings for this young girl 10 times by now. Three weeks ago I told him in all calmness, "I think we're done here" and I told him he should move out. He did not want this ordeal to cost him his family and was faced with the task of dealing with several internal issues of his own. Mind you, I am not perfect. However, my junk has been being dealt with for a while now. The task at hand became determining if we could be healthy and stay together or would we be more healthy as individuals to become individuals completely. We have three children; ages 8, 6 and 5. It would be huge adjustment to "try" separation for a while - obviously.
Throughout this process we have gone back to the beginning - why did we get married to begin with? Short answer: To be like *them* (people in our church circle). We thought we'd be the next *them*. Next we adopted ideas of *that couple* and tried to force each other into the ideal that went along with that -- never really recognizing who we were as individuals and the differences we held. If we did recognize it, we found fault in it. For example - when we first met, he loved how I didn't give a crap what anyone thought. Slowly, though, he convinced me that I should consider others way above myself and I became a neurotic little obsession in need of others approval which, yes, caused him to see me as weak. Our projections onto one another, thanks to religious roles, has completely sucked the life out of each of us.
Regardless of why we got married and what has kept us together (up until now, all religious reasons) we are still here and now have three children. So, instead of walking away completely we are trying to recognize each other for who we really are, deal with our own shadows and see if we can be healthy together or not. It's a one day at a time situation.
The work-girlfriend has died down some although the situation has come and gone quite a few times lately. I think the last piece of the puzzle was put to bed last week when 'chatting' became no longer an option outside of work. I thought that was settled long before last week but.. regardless... I think it's clear now.
Sixteen years of marriage and three kids plus lots of deconstruction has given room for growth and also provided many scary options. We still are walking together for now - we'll see how it all turns.
Many weeks ago I took off my wedding rings. The rings themselves were purchased out of urging from a friend in common (one of whom we idealized at the time) and everything those pieces of gold represent are no longer what I want a part of my life. I would like to happily wear a ring again but it won't be those - they represent what I don't want -- more of the same old forced compliance. He agrees.
We've tried our damnedest throughout all of this. If we can't move on together as friends, we'll have to attempt separating as friends. My mental weakness that occurs when we go to hell is not healthy nor is his neurosis flare-ups. We'll be healthy together or we'll be healthy apart. Either way -we love each other enough to want the best for each other; regardless of what that looks like in the near future.
All of that to say - if you've listed to the song on my blog - this update gives more back-story behind it. If you comment in detail about it, please do so here and not on my blog. He visits my blog but doesn't know about this site. I'm way more candid here.
Health (or the lack of it)
Hello, fellow Kitchen-dwellers.
Could you please pray for my wife, Samantha, who was admitted to hospital today? She's due to have surgery (gynaecological laparoscopy) tomorrow morning. Please pray that the surgery will go well and that they'll find (and fix) what's been causing her so much pain over the past 5 months.
Also, for myself, the chest pain (costochondritis) came back yesterday :o( I do wonder if it's partly stress-related. It's not been too bad today, though the chest area is quite tender to the touch.
Any and all prayers - long, short, ongoing or one-off - are appreciated.
Could you please pray for my wife, Samantha, who was admitted to hospital today? She's due to have surgery (gynaecological laparoscopy) tomorrow morning. Please pray that the surgery will go well and that they'll find (and fix) what's been causing her so much pain over the past 5 months.
Also, for myself, the chest pain (costochondritis) came back yesterday :o( I do wonder if it's partly stress-related. It's not been too bad today, though the chest area is quite tender to the touch.
Any and all prayers - long, short, ongoing or one-off - are appreciated.
Bio
Hey, all. I've been hanging around a bit, lurking, watching. Thought I'd add my name to the roll, so you could at least know who to blame if I step out of line. :) I've brought along the espresso machine and am serving up shots to anyone who wants them. I hand out coffee--lots and lots of coffee. My life has more or less been fueled by an obscene amount of coffee for the last fifteen years. Anyone want a latte?
Anyway, my name's Sara, and I'm a SAHM with 2 preschoolers and a grade schooler. My husband pastors a small Presbyterian church in the Midwest. I wrangle kids, and write, and try to get a bit of exercise . . . and think and pray and write and dream about how to work from right in the middle of the System to make the church-thing more what Jesus would want it to be.
I'm probably not likely to post very often, but know that I'm reading and thinking and praying and love being a part of the conversation.
Anyway, my name's Sara, and I'm a SAHM with 2 preschoolers and a grade schooler. My husband pastors a small Presbyterian church in the Midwest. I wrangle kids, and write, and try to get a bit of exercise . . . and think and pray and write and dream about how to work from right in the middle of the System to make the church-thing more what Jesus would want it to be.
I'm probably not likely to post very often, but know that I'm reading and thinking and praying and love being a part of the conversation.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
World Clock
I really like that nifty little world clock. I think it's good to know what time it is if we are talking to someone. Does everyone want to list their time zones here so that we can add your names to the clock?
A Room for the Negatively Emotioned
Hello Kitcheners
I have just added on a new room in the ever-expanding space that is Rahab's. It is a room painted in nice mental institutionalish soothing green tones, and set aside especially for those of us who are wallowing in the societally and christianityally displeasing sins like anger, bitterness, and crustiness in all of their forms. I call it the Pissed Off Room, which isn't very nice and pleasant a name at all, is it? But then, neither are those emotions :) Anger seems to be an emotion that freaks people out more than any other - and with good reason. How scary it is to see it in yourself, let alone in other people. But still, I think there is a space for it, for learning how to roll with it and harness it. I have this idea that the things that are making us angry can't really be overcome until we turn and walk into them and embrace them, to a certain extent. I would like the Pissed Off Room to be accessed by a slide from both the women's premenstrual verandah and also the men's wedgie deck, which goes down into a whole lot of balls, like they have in Ikea. I propose the walls be made of a nice splodgy substance which has plenty of give and take when you ram your head into them :)
I am doing a liver detox of sorts at the moment along with a heavy metal detox. My liver is quite overloaded and needs lots of supplemental support. It's all going okay and I'm not having a nervous breakdown or anything but I really do understand why in Chinese medicine the liver is considered the organ that deals with anger. Sometimes I wonder where all this anger in me comes from and sometimes I doubt it shall ever be dealt with. Which is where your prayers come in, if you feel so inclined. Some of you know that I have just come up out of the murk of 6+ years of chronic illness followed by a marriage breakdown. It's been two years now since my marriage broke up and I do definitely feel like I am healing. Sometimes, however, I get the feeling that I should be moving on more quickly than I am. But still, these things just can't be rushed and neither do I want to.
I am reading an interesting book at the moment called The Gift of Grief by a rabbi called Matthew Gewirtz which is a good read. One of the reminders I am taking away as I read it is that to be fully present to my own pain is really the only road through, even though at times that does feel unbearable, does it not, bloggers? But still, in my heretical meditation practices I do find that once turning and facing the anger or wahtever and really embracing it, in almost a physical way, brings such peace. What doesn't bring peace is the fact that I also feel crusty, old, grouchy and ultra critical at the moment, which is why if anyone wants me I'll be rolling around in the Ikea balls. Anyone else wanna join me? :)
I have just added on a new room in the ever-expanding space that is Rahab's. It is a room painted in nice mental institutionalish soothing green tones, and set aside especially for those of us who are wallowing in the societally and christianityally displeasing sins like anger, bitterness, and crustiness in all of their forms. I call it the Pissed Off Room, which isn't very nice and pleasant a name at all, is it? But then, neither are those emotions :) Anger seems to be an emotion that freaks people out more than any other - and with good reason. How scary it is to see it in yourself, let alone in other people. But still, I think there is a space for it, for learning how to roll with it and harness it. I have this idea that the things that are making us angry can't really be overcome until we turn and walk into them and embrace them, to a certain extent. I would like the Pissed Off Room to be accessed by a slide from both the women's premenstrual verandah and also the men's wedgie deck, which goes down into a whole lot of balls, like they have in Ikea. I propose the walls be made of a nice splodgy substance which has plenty of give and take when you ram your head into them :)
I am doing a liver detox of sorts at the moment along with a heavy metal detox. My liver is quite overloaded and needs lots of supplemental support. It's all going okay and I'm not having a nervous breakdown or anything but I really do understand why in Chinese medicine the liver is considered the organ that deals with anger. Sometimes I wonder where all this anger in me comes from and sometimes I doubt it shall ever be dealt with. Which is where your prayers come in, if you feel so inclined. Some of you know that I have just come up out of the murk of 6+ years of chronic illness followed by a marriage breakdown. It's been two years now since my marriage broke up and I do definitely feel like I am healing. Sometimes, however, I get the feeling that I should be moving on more quickly than I am. But still, these things just can't be rushed and neither do I want to.
I am reading an interesting book at the moment called The Gift of Grief by a rabbi called Matthew Gewirtz which is a good read. One of the reminders I am taking away as I read it is that to be fully present to my own pain is really the only road through, even though at times that does feel unbearable, does it not, bloggers? But still, in my heretical meditation practices I do find that once turning and facing the anger or wahtever and really embracing it, in almost a physical way, brings such peace. What doesn't bring peace is the fact that I also feel crusty, old, grouchy and ultra critical at the moment, which is why if anyone wants me I'll be rolling around in the Ikea balls. Anyone else wanna join me? :)
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
a mental picture
it's so great to stop and look around here and see what i see. everyone wearing their "work clothes", sleeves rolled up, paint smudges on their cheeks. mike using the table saw and drill to put up cabinets in the Kitchen. the air thick with the smell of baked goodness and coffee. just because the paint's not dry doesn't mean we're not able to operate...
it's a beautiful thing this Kitchen. to "look around" and see so many other great people who i've come to love and share intimacy with, right next to me, plugging away at a common goal. to give birth to something beautiful in this world.
this Kitchen can become anything we want it to be. decks, verandas... why not? we can have it all if we're willing to put in the hard work to make it happen. i think those are both great ideas and ones that deserve merit and contemplation. first things first, of course. but there's no reason why our vision can't go as far as the spirit can take it, eventually, if we're committed to it. i expect we'll continue to have to add on to the Kitchen as long as it keeps growing. i have no expectations for what it is or what it may become. i'm only curious to see what will grow after the sowing is done. :-)
yet, strangely, in that vein, i feel god asking me to put it down until the end of the year. to draw closer to him for a "closet" or "desert" season. to fast and pray. as well as step out of the way for a bit. and when i return, see what has grown in my absence. as well as share with you all about what i've heard in the desert.
i have one more post to put up at my place, then i'll be off. so here's some prayers and hugs in advance. as well as some esoteric advice and nostalgia inducing musical references just for fun.
much, much love to you all. you mean more to me than these simple letters arranged just so could ever tell.
you guys rock.
My husband
It looks like my husband is losing his job. We just moved here in June, our fourth house in four years. I am exhausted, I just cannot keep doing this.
He moved into a company that puts in low quality equipment (years before Mark got there) and then demands that the engineering/maintenance manager make it work. Well, he can't, no one can. His boss demands that he be available 24/7 and that he come to the plant on every whim, even in the middle of the night.
Another move could ruin us financially, and Andy is finally doing well in school. I just do not know what to do. We did not want to come here, but God insisted, we knew this job would be trouble from the start, but we had peace about the move.
Anyway, I don't know what else to say.
He moved into a company that puts in low quality equipment (years before Mark got there) and then demands that the engineering/maintenance manager make it work. Well, he can't, no one can. His boss demands that he be available 24/7 and that he come to the plant on every whim, even in the middle of the night.
Another move could ruin us financially, and Andy is finally doing well in school. I just do not know what to do. We did not want to come here, but God insisted, we knew this job would be trouble from the start, but we had peace about the move.
Anyway, I don't know what else to say.
Boundaries
I am writing to ask those who have read my blog and understand the situation between me and my friend if they could give me some advice concerning boundaries...
I recently talked to my friend. She text me last night and sort of kind of tried to apologize to me, but yet the next second she turned around and told me she did not regret what happened and what she did and she felt she had to do it. Ever since my visit and through all that happened, I can see that she is quite a controller and she has a very aggressive personality, and I am quite the opposite to her. I am more of a passive/compliant person who has a rough time setting boundaries with anyone and would probably let anyone take advantage of me (getting better though), even if they are physically abusive towards me. I don't know if I should just forgive her like I have, and move on with life and continue to reach out to her, or should I set some kind of boundaries between us so that she won't control me in the friendship that we have left? Should I email her and let her know, or just let it go and move on... I somehow want to let her know that right now she and I can no longer be friends, but telling someone that what they are doing is hard for me to do.... Does she deserve an explanation for me not wanting to be a part of her life? In some ways I think she does and in other ways, I wish I didn't have to bite the bullet and tell her! Auhh, I don't know! Any help or advise in this situation would be greatly appreciated!!!
I recently talked to my friend. She text me last night and sort of kind of tried to apologize to me, but yet the next second she turned around and told me she did not regret what happened and what she did and she felt she had to do it. Ever since my visit and through all that happened, I can see that she is quite a controller and she has a very aggressive personality, and I am quite the opposite to her. I am more of a passive/compliant person who has a rough time setting boundaries with anyone and would probably let anyone take advantage of me (getting better though), even if they are physically abusive towards me. I don't know if I should just forgive her like I have, and move on with life and continue to reach out to her, or should I set some kind of boundaries between us so that she won't control me in the friendship that we have left? Should I email her and let her know, or just let it go and move on... I somehow want to let her know that right now she and I can no longer be friends, but telling someone that what they are doing is hard for me to do.... Does she deserve an explanation for me not wanting to be a part of her life? In some ways I think she does and in other ways, I wish I didn't have to bite the bullet and tell her! Auhh, I don't know! Any help or advise in this situation would be greatly appreciated!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Hi
Hi all, my name's Fiona (Fi), and while I'm not new to the online world, I am when it comes to the blogosphere. I'm 25 years old and live in country NSW in Australia. After attending a Christian arts college for 2 years, I gave it up to work in aged care, and am about to embark on a Literature degree which I have been waiting to do my whole life. I love cooking and following the Rubgy and Cricket and miss New Zealand where Iived a few years ago.
I've been hanging out with God since I was 21 and left the church institution almost 2 years ago. I've struggled with a whle lot of stuff in that time - doubt, fear, the judgment of others, and on many occasions have come close to giving it all up. The thing I have struggled with most is being able to maintain a sense of community, finding people who have shared my experience and wont judge me for the myriad ways in which I have messed up.
Some days I know unequivocally where I stand with my faith, and on others I wouldn't know where to start. What Idoknow is that it is an open ended dialogue, a journey of discovery, and I am grateful to Erin for extending me this generous invitation to share in the community you have here.
I've been hanging out with God since I was 21 and left the church institution almost 2 years ago. I've struggled with a whle lot of stuff in that time - doubt, fear, the judgment of others, and on many occasions have come close to giving it all up. The thing I have struggled with most is being able to maintain a sense of community, finding people who have shared my experience and wont judge me for the myriad ways in which I have messed up.
Some days I know unequivocally where I stand with my faith, and on others I wouldn't know where to start. What Idoknow is that it is an open ended dialogue, a journey of discovery, and I am grateful to Erin for extending me this generous invitation to share in the community you have here.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
In pain and struggling
Those of you who read my Honest Faith blog may remember that about this time last year I had a major health scare that turned out not to be life-threatening after all, but rather a very painful chest condition called costochondritis.
Well, at the end of October it came back. It's come and gone, but I have had to take time off work a few times because of it. Over the past week it's been particularly painful. I've been taking the same medication as last time, and it does help, but it doesn't always stop the pain.
On Friday it was particularly painful when I was in work, and I struggled to stay there. Perhaps I should have come home, because a teacher who can't focus on anything but the pain he's in isn't really an effective teacher at that point.
Anyway, my reason for posting this is that it's getting me down. I'm not in "uncharted waters" because I've had this condition before, but it's very painful and very unpleasant, and it's stopping me doing many of the things that I want/need to do (my wife is also very ill, and I need to take her to hospital appointments while doing all the household chores because she's currently unable to do much). Normal life, and many of my normal activities such as mountain biking, have had to go. I'm still able to go dancing on my good days, but I can't get out on my bike because whereas I can stop dancing if and when the pain returns, I can't just stop riding if I'm on a mountain track ten miles from home with no vehicle access. Plus, of course, this is affecting my work.
Prayer would be appreciated. Coping with my own illness as well as my wife's is a real struggle at the moment.
Well, at the end of October it came back. It's come and gone, but I have had to take time off work a few times because of it. Over the past week it's been particularly painful. I've been taking the same medication as last time, and it does help, but it doesn't always stop the pain.
On Friday it was particularly painful when I was in work, and I struggled to stay there. Perhaps I should have come home, because a teacher who can't focus on anything but the pain he's in isn't really an effective teacher at that point.
Anyway, my reason for posting this is that it's getting me down. I'm not in "uncharted waters" because I've had this condition before, but it's very painful and very unpleasant, and it's stopping me doing many of the things that I want/need to do (my wife is also very ill, and I need to take her to hospital appointments while doing all the household chores because she's currently unable to do much). Normal life, and many of my normal activities such as mountain biking, have had to go. I'm still able to go dancing on my good days, but I can't get out on my bike because whereas I can stop dancing if and when the pain returns, I can't just stop riding if I'm on a mountain track ten miles from home with no vehicle access. Plus, of course, this is affecting my work.
Prayer would be appreciated. Coping with my own illness as well as my wife's is a real struggle at the moment.
Prayer for a Friend
Will you guys/gals please pray for two women I know that are both caring for elderly parents? Diana is caring for her 94 year old father who is a cantankerous old dude who is mostly blind and deaf and can barely walk.
Sherry is caring for her 80 year old mother who is a dear, sweet woman but recently broke a leg and has various other medical issues including diabetes and some dementia.
These two women, Diana and Sherry, receive no help from ANYONE and they both struggle with health/pain issues of their own. Anyone who has had to be a caretaker knows how demanding and draining it can be, and how lonely.
Please lift them up in prayer. They are both faithful, loving women who know God and need his strength and encouragement to get them through.
Thank you so much!
Sherry is caring for her 80 year old mother who is a dear, sweet woman but recently broke a leg and has various other medical issues including diabetes and some dementia.
These two women, Diana and Sherry, receive no help from ANYONE and they both struggle with health/pain issues of their own. Anyone who has had to be a caretaker knows how demanding and draining it can be, and how lonely.
Please lift them up in prayer. They are both faithful, loving women who know God and need his strength and encouragement to get them through.
Thank you so much!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Update
Hi Everyone,
I'm using an update tag on this one because it serves two purposes.
First I am asking for your prayers. I can't go into detail but sometimes lately it seems like my entire world is coming unraveled and as such, it's really hard to keep my eye on God when all I want to do is forget about him sometimes.
Secondly, Tyler's game gave me a new idea for a label. Since board games are popular in most kitchens I know, I thought that was a good label for any games we might want to play.
I'm using an update tag on this one because it serves two purposes.
First I am asking for your prayers. I can't go into detail but sometimes lately it seems like my entire world is coming unraveled and as such, it's really hard to keep my eye on God when all I want to do is forget about him sometimes.
Secondly, Tyler's game gave me a new idea for a label. Since board games are popular in most kitchens I know, I thought that was a good label for any games we might want to play.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Where I'm at right now
My emotions are out of wack right now and I'm feeling a lot of anger, in general. A lot of it is hormonal... ( sorry men). Every month I battle really bad anxiety and anger issues related to my female cycle...please pray for me. It can last on and off for up to ten days!! It's just too long!! I get so angry and edgy. I control myself the best I can, by I get very cynical and kinda miserable. I don't want to talk to anyone... It's like this monster inside of me. I just got on some hormonal support like a month ago, but I don't know if it's helping! I don't know what to do.
Gosh, I don't really want any advice, especially to be told to be more positive... !
Please pray for me. Pray that if there are some legitimate issues I need to deal with, that God will show me and help me...I'm seeking him. Pray that if there isn't, that I would get a little relief for the almost rage I feel.
There is a lot that is bothering me in a way too...
Sometimes I feel very used and taken for granted by people. A lot of people are pretty shitty "friends" to me and I'm angry about that. It wears on me after a while. I'm tired of crying. But I don't want my heart to harden.
I swear I think a lot of it is hormonal/ chemical. It's like I don't know what came first, the feelings or the actual shitty situations. Maybe the hormonal time is a time for me to get it all out.... I don't know. I can't see straight. That' s where your prayers come in. I don't want to whine. Just writing you all right now is a bit of comfort and is helping me get a grip. Thanks...
I'm going to bed and hoping tomorrow will be better. We all have shitty days I suppose
Gosh, I don't really want any advice, especially to be told to be more positive... !
Please pray for me. Pray that if there are some legitimate issues I need to deal with, that God will show me and help me...I'm seeking him. Pray that if there isn't, that I would get a little relief for the almost rage I feel.
There is a lot that is bothering me in a way too...
Sometimes I feel very used and taken for granted by people. A lot of people are pretty shitty "friends" to me and I'm angry about that. It wears on me after a while. I'm tired of crying. But I don't want my heart to harden.
I swear I think a lot of it is hormonal/ chemical. It's like I don't know what came first, the feelings or the actual shitty situations. Maybe the hormonal time is a time for me to get it all out.... I don't know. I can't see straight. That' s where your prayers come in. I don't want to whine. Just writing you all right now is a bit of comfort and is helping me get a grip. Thanks...
I'm going to bed and hoping tomorrow will be better. We all have shitty days I suppose
I'm here!
Just a quick post to say hello to you all. I may have come a little late to the party, but I'm here now. I've brought beer - help yourselves.
I'd just like to share my latest insight, that God was in fact the first ever dentist. See Psalm 81:10 for proof :o)
I'd just like to share my latest insight, that God was in fact the first ever dentist. See Psalm 81:10 for proof :o)
Contest
I was on the Stuff Christians Like blog. And he happened to mention "Christian wear" -- namely boxer shorts.
I want to have a contest for the very best Christian boxer short slogan. Multiple submissions allowed.
I shudder to think what you all might come up with. But figured it was a good ice breaker rofl
I want to have a contest for the very best Christian boxer short slogan. Multiple submissions allowed.
I shudder to think what you all might come up with. But figured it was a good ice breaker rofl
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Great Transformation?
Hey guys, I said I was going to post in more detail about what happened on my trip to Texas with my friend, but, I posted it on my blog instead. If you want to go over and read it over there feel free to do so! mygodjourney.blogspot.com The title is called "Great Transformation?" I just thought it was really long and not everyone would be interested in reading it!!! Comments are welcome! It's a process and Father is helping me through losing this friend, it will just take time! Thanks again for your prayers and thoughts!
In Freedom, Nicole!
In Freedom, Nicole!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Hi, from Ché
Many of you may not know me. I don't comment alot, and I don't post uber-frequently on my blog.
But I'm here, listening and learning from you all, and praying when prayer is asked for...or even when it's not.
I'm a really private person.
When I mentioned to my best friend, Kelly, that I'd discovered that I'm a loner....she fell on the floor laughing, saying, "You've only RECENTLY discovered this?"
I guess she wasn't overly surprised.
I don't have alot of close friends, but when I do get close to people, I get really close and love them for life.
Anyways, all this to say, I'm stepping out a little here to ask for some prayer support.
I'm in some financial crisis...though saying that makes me feel stupid. I'm almost ALWAYS in financial crisis since my husband left.
I'm a single parent, and I work lots. Yet, it's a barely over minimum wage job, which I keep because I like it, and I get benefits and some bonuses.
I work at Starbucks.
I've been asking God to help me....not to rescue me. What I mean is this: I want to learn how to work with the finances I have rather than keep praying for financial windfalls. Does that make sense?
I have this dream.
I want to own my own house.
I absolutely love to decorate, and renovate. I do alot in this rental I'm in because it needs it, and because it's a beautiful heritage home that I love.
My dream is so big and so unreachable.
I have trouble paying for my bills, and buying groceries at the same time.
I have debt, lots of it the result of closing down my bookstore. Some of it because I have times where I've just run away for a mini vacation and didn't have money so I put it on credit. I feel insanely guilty about that, cause it's not really being responsible.
Yet, somehow it's been needed.
So...if you all are willing, would you pray for me?
I want to be responsible with my finances. I also want to take care of this person called ME.
I want to be a great mom.....and I want to fall in love with my Creator.
I want to have hope.....and I want to be a good friend.
I want to follow my dreams..and I want to take care of my family.
All these disparate wants swirl around inside me....and make me a little crazy.
So, could you?
But I'm here, listening and learning from you all, and praying when prayer is asked for...or even when it's not.
I'm a really private person.
When I mentioned to my best friend, Kelly, that I'd discovered that I'm a loner....she fell on the floor laughing, saying, "You've only RECENTLY discovered this?"
I guess she wasn't overly surprised.
I don't have alot of close friends, but when I do get close to people, I get really close and love them for life.
Anyways, all this to say, I'm stepping out a little here to ask for some prayer support.
I'm in some financial crisis...though saying that makes me feel stupid. I'm almost ALWAYS in financial crisis since my husband left.
I'm a single parent, and I work lots. Yet, it's a barely over minimum wage job, which I keep because I like it, and I get benefits and some bonuses.
I work at Starbucks.
I've been asking God to help me....not to rescue me. What I mean is this: I want to learn how to work with the finances I have rather than keep praying for financial windfalls. Does that make sense?
I have this dream.
I want to own my own house.
I absolutely love to decorate, and renovate. I do alot in this rental I'm in because it needs it, and because it's a beautiful heritage home that I love.
My dream is so big and so unreachable.
I have trouble paying for my bills, and buying groceries at the same time.
I have debt, lots of it the result of closing down my bookstore. Some of it because I have times where I've just run away for a mini vacation and didn't have money so I put it on credit. I feel insanely guilty about that, cause it's not really being responsible.
Yet, somehow it's been needed.
So...if you all are willing, would you pray for me?
I want to be responsible with my finances. I also want to take care of this person called ME.
I want to be a great mom.....and I want to fall in love with my Creator.
I want to have hope.....and I want to be a good friend.
I want to follow my dreams..and I want to take care of my family.
All these disparate wants swirl around inside me....and make me a little crazy.
So, could you?
For Andy, Zaavan, and Tilly (forgive me if I have forgotten anyone)
A man sent me a book when we got the diagnosis on Andy, inside was a CD with this song on it. It really sums it up, I haven't heard it in about 6 years.
psst.
several of you said you wanted to know when there was more. there's a little more. for your perusal.
and now: infinite possibilities part 1.
the newest:infinite possibilities part 2.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Prayer Healing
Hi all
Was wodnering if you could pray for us. Particularly my 4 year old (Tilly) she has epelespy and at the mo we cant seem to get it under control and if she has 1 fit she will have at least 5 but can have as many as 13.
Also her behaviour is off the planet and I dont know what to do about it. On the weekend she threw her sister nintendo DS out of the sencond story window of out house. Luckily it landed in the rose bush. Any way my hubby delt with her and after much screeming and carrying on she came and said sorry. But not more than 1/2 later she went into our room and threw anything she could find out our window. She painted the bathroom wall with my foundation and the hot water ciylinder with green acrlic paint. Each time she gets a smack and time out and each time there is crying and screeming that goes on for 10-15 mins. And that was just Sunday! In the end I was so angry with her I told her that I wished she lived some where esle which is an awful dreadful thing to say and I feel like a witch for saying it, even if at the time it was partially true
I feel guilty becasue I think that it might be because I work so much. But she has been stubborn since the day she was born
Can you pray for both healing for her and wisdom for Matt and I as we try and figure out how to best teach her and guide her please
Was wodnering if you could pray for us. Particularly my 4 year old (Tilly) she has epelespy and at the mo we cant seem to get it under control and if she has 1 fit she will have at least 5 but can have as many as 13.
Also her behaviour is off the planet and I dont know what to do about it. On the weekend she threw her sister nintendo DS out of the sencond story window of out house. Luckily it landed in the rose bush. Any way my hubby delt with her and after much screeming and carrying on she came and said sorry. But not more than 1/2 later she went into our room and threw anything she could find out our window. She painted the bathroom wall with my foundation and the hot water ciylinder with green acrlic paint. Each time she gets a smack and time out and each time there is crying and screeming that goes on for 10-15 mins. And that was just Sunday! In the end I was so angry with her I told her that I wished she lived some where esle which is an awful dreadful thing to say and I feel like a witch for saying it, even if at the time it was partially true
I feel guilty becasue I think that it might be because I work so much. But she has been stubborn since the day she was born
Can you pray for both healing for her and wisdom for Matt and I as we try and figure out how to best teach her and guide her please
Sunday Briefs
Hey!
Anyone care to chime in, drop a few lines and let us all know how you're doing, especially if you haven't in a while...
The family cares
Anyone care to chime in, drop a few lines and let us all know how you're doing, especially if you haven't in a while...
The family cares
Friday, November 7, 2008
The Bios Cabinet
For those who added short Bio's under the original post, I have taken those and created brand new posts with them and they are all labeled as "Bio's". You can get to these by clicking on the Bio's Cabinet Door in the sidebar.
If you are interested in adding your Bio to the list, all you have to do is create a new post and put "Bio's" in the label box at the bottom of the post box.
If you want to edit your current bio, there are a couple of things that you can do.
The First Way
There is also another intersting thing that you can do from the editor. In the lower left hand corner of the box, there is a blue link labeled Post Options. Clicking on this link will expand the box and give you the options to either allow or not allow reader comments on your post and also to change the post time and date.
Changing the post date and time is a nice ability to have for updates to posts. You can change the post date and time to reflect the current date and time and your post will automatically go to the front page, on top. Then, everyone will know that it has been updated.
jON also mentioned having links to our blogs here as well so for a start, on the bio's that I have done, the blog links are at the bottom of the bio's.
Please let me know if you have any input one way or the other.
Peace
If you are interested in adding your Bio to the list, all you have to do is create a new post and put "Bio's" in the label box at the bottom of the post box.
If you want to edit your current bio, there are a couple of things that you can do.
The First Way
- Click Customize on the Blogger Task Bar
- Click Posting on the Tabs
- Click Edit Posts on the sub-tabs
- In the labels box in the left side bar, click Bio's
- Find your Bio and click Edit
- Edit your bio and click Publish Post when done
- From Rahab's, Click on the Bio's link in the Kitchen Cabinets widget in the sidebar
- Scroll down until you find your Bio
- At the bottom of your post, you will find "Posted by XXX at (time)". Quick Editing has been enabled on this blog so you should see a yellow pencil to the right. Click on it.
- Edit your post
- Click Publish Post when done
There is also another intersting thing that you can do from the editor. In the lower left hand corner of the box, there is a blue link labeled Post Options. Clicking on this link will expand the box and give you the options to either allow or not allow reader comments on your post and also to change the post time and date.
Changing the post date and time is a nice ability to have for updates to posts. You can change the post date and time to reflect the current date and time and your post will automatically go to the front page, on top. Then, everyone will know that it has been updated.
jON also mentioned having links to our blogs here as well so for a start, on the bio's that I have done, the blog links are at the bottom of the bio's.
Please let me know if you have any input one way or the other.
Peace
Thursday, November 6, 2008
question for your contemplation
are you the same person in real life as you are here in the blog world?
and what i mean is this... do you speak to people in everyday life the way you do here? do you have the same sorts of conversations? do they bleed over into your regular life? do you carry the same convictions and ideals with you everywhere you go? or do you find yourself living a dichotomy of being one person here, and being another in you real life?
and what i mean is this... do you speak to people in everyday life the way you do here? do you have the same sorts of conversations? do they bleed over into your regular life? do you carry the same convictions and ideals with you everywhere you go? or do you find yourself living a dichotomy of being one person here, and being another in you real life?
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
More Brief Bio's...
For those of you who haven't shared yours yet and would like to!
Also, what is everyone's first name (those with google addresses that aren't their name)... if you are comfortable sharing
Erin or Mike, could we have a label on the Kitchen cabinets just for "Brief Bio's" so anyone who hasn't can add theirs if they want?
The original brief Bio's are here
Also, what is everyone's first name (those with google addresses that aren't their name)... if you are comfortable sharing
Erin or Mike, could we have a label on the Kitchen cabinets just for "Brief Bio's" so anyone who hasn't can add theirs if they want?
The original brief Bio's are here
feeling frustrated
HI all, you can visit my blog to see in detail why I am so frustrated. I have gone without a car for a long time now and finally have a little-puny amount of money to buy a car and it's been a battle to find the right one. Please pray for me to calm down and lean on God's timing and not my own.
Ta
Ta
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
A New Sidebar Widget
First, I want to thank Erin for doing the calendar for the sidebar. It took me about five minutes to transfer all of the information that you gave me about birthdays and anniversaries to that calendar and now it is in the sidebar for everyone to see. Thanks Erin, that was a great idea!
Manuela had a great idea and from her post and the resulting discussion, I have went through all of the posts and whittled down the labels to five. They are:
Based on the discussion in the aforementioned post/comments, a visitor can come into the kitchen and open the specific cabinet that they want to look in. If they want to hear about updates, they can open that cabinet. If they want to see prayer requests, there is a cabinet for that. There is a cabinet for discussion, technical stuff (I love that term, its so technical) and special occasions as well.
When you write a new post, please put it away in the proper cabinet by putting that name in the "post labels" area located at the bottom of the new post box.
Thanks to all for coming up with great ideas and making this place what it is; a great community to belong to! If y'all have any other ideas about cabinet labels, let me know.
Manuela had a great idea and from her post and the resulting discussion, I have went through all of the posts and whittled down the labels to five. They are:
- Discussion
- Prayer Matters
- Special Occasions
- Tech Stuff
- Updates
Based on the discussion in the aforementioned post/comments, a visitor can come into the kitchen and open the specific cabinet that they want to look in. If they want to hear about updates, they can open that cabinet. If they want to see prayer requests, there is a cabinet for that. There is a cabinet for discussion, technical stuff (I love that term, its so technical) and special occasions as well.
When you write a new post, please put it away in the proper cabinet by putting that name in the "post labels" area located at the bottom of the new post box.
Thanks to all for coming up with great ideas and making this place what it is; a great community to belong to! If y'all have any other ideas about cabinet labels, let me know.
Calendar
After discussion on the last post, I created a Google Calendar for Rahab's Kitchen so we can all keep track of birthdays and anniversaries and Mike doesn't have to do it all by himself. The widget is already installed, you should find it on the sidebar.
In order for the widget to work it was necessary to make the calendar public. This means if anyone who is using Google Calendar searches for public events, events on this calendar could turn up in the results depending on their search criteria. We will only be putting first names on the calendar, so it should not be a privacy issue for anyone, but it's important that you know this so you are informed. For more information on public calendars, go here.
There are no entries on the calendar yet because I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to opt out. Otherwise we will enter all the information Mike already has.
If you would like something new to be added, you can let Mike or I know and we can add it. Also if you would like to be able to add/edit events on the calendar, let me know and I'll send you an invite to it.
Also, you can subscribe to this calendar in a feedreader, on your own Google Calendar, or using another calendar application such as iCal. I can provide you with the calendar address if you would like to do this.
Consider it a calendar hung in the kitchen. I think this will alleviate one person having to be responsible of keeping track of these important dates.
In order for the widget to work it was necessary to make the calendar public. This means if anyone who is using Google Calendar searches for public events, events on this calendar could turn up in the results depending on their search criteria. We will only be putting first names on the calendar, so it should not be a privacy issue for anyone, but it's important that you know this so you are informed. For more information on public calendars, go here.
There are no entries on the calendar yet because I wanted to give everyone an opportunity to opt out. Otherwise we will enter all the information Mike already has.
If you would like something new to be added, you can let Mike or I know and we can add it. Also if you would like to be able to add/edit events on the calendar, let me know and I'll send you an invite to it.
Also, you can subscribe to this calendar in a feedreader, on your own Google Calendar, or using another calendar application such as iCal. I can provide you with the calendar address if you would like to do this.
Consider it a calendar hung in the kitchen. I think this will alleviate one person having to be responsible of keeping track of these important dates.
Monday, November 3, 2008
More From The Tech Side
Hi All.
This has been a very busy time for me and I just keep getting behinder and behinder. (Seems that way anyway). I have posts brewing for my blog, some for Trolling For Retreads, where I contribute regularly and a full plate inside of the Matrix with work and home and life. I looked at my reader tonight and I have 125 unread posts. AAAAARGH!!!!
At any rate, I just wanted to let you know that if I missed you in the Visiting Siblings Column or the photo gallery, please send me a reminder at bobbavicto(at)gmail(dot)com.
My best wishes, prayers, hopes and dreams go out to all of you.
This has been a very busy time for me and I just keep getting behinder and behinder. (Seems that way anyway). I have posts brewing for my blog, some for Trolling For Retreads, where I contribute regularly and a full plate inside of the Matrix with work and home and life. I looked at my reader tonight and I have 125 unread posts. AAAAARGH!!!!
At any rate, I just wanted to let you know that if I missed you in the Visiting Siblings Column or the photo gallery, please send me a reminder at bobbavicto(at)gmail(dot)com.
My best wishes, prayers, hopes and dreams go out to all of you.
Weekly prayer requests/ updates
Hey I wrote this below on Tyler's post-
Idea- maybe every other day or every couple days we should keep each other updated on stuff through an "update" post, where anyone who wants to share can? Or have ongoing weekly prayer requests/ updates post, where anyone can write down brief requests, as needed... or ask about how anyone is doing?
What do you all think? My idea is that it could be a place where we can see where everyone is at, briefly, and know how to pray. And people can still make longer posts , etc, whenever they want or need to?
This way no one falls through the cracks... and we can keep each other updated.
We could start here...? any thoughts...?
Idea- maybe every other day or every couple days we should keep each other updated on stuff through an "update" post, where anyone who wants to share can? Or have ongoing weekly prayer requests/ updates post, where anyone can write down brief requests, as needed... or ask about how anyone is doing?
What do you all think? My idea is that it could be a place where we can see where everyone is at, briefly, and know how to pray. And people can still make longer posts , etc, whenever they want or need to?
This way no one falls through the cracks... and we can keep each other updated.
We could start here...? any thoughts...?
Mom in Law
Hi all. Today I spent a couple hours with my mom in law, Judy. I watched HGTV with her, and painted her fingernails and toenails. Today she was able to choose her nail polish color instead of having to take whatever shade of pink I gave her. I think this was fun for her, a break from her routine. She even let me paint her toenails lavender! I asked her twice, just to be sure, and she was sure.
For those who may not know...the short version is had a benign brain tumor removed on May 29th. On may 30th she had a stroke, where she lost everything on her right side and the ability to speak or answer questions (basically like a newborn baby), only to whimper and cry. In the interim she has had nothing but problem after problem: a variety of infections, hydrocephalus, and seizures, and the inability to eat or drink much, which had her in and out of the hospital about every two weeks. She had a shunt put in on September 4th, and a gastro tube in mid September and has finally been improving ever since. She is a woman of God, a Pastor's daughter and a Pastor's sister and a Pastor's wife. She has served the Lord her entire life which is why this is so hard.
In the comments on my Anniversary post (thanks everyone!), Jon was asking how he could pray for her, so I'm going to share about that for anyone who may want some specifics.
One thing is she has atrophied so much from being bedridden since June that she still cannot stand or walk. So we would like to see her continue to regain strength so one day she may walk again. She was a petite woman to begin with, and these months have seen her fall below 100 lbs.
Another thing is that while she is speaking and answering questions often now, each word is still a struggle for her. We would like this to continue to improve, as well, and for it to be easier and easier for her to communicate.
Now that she has improved some, she needs visits and company now more than ever, because she is more alert and is able to make conversation. I would pray that her friends be even more willing to come spend time with her.
As well, because she is more aware, she has been breaking down crying more often as she is realizing more about her condition and about how long it's been -- and today I think it was because she is more aware of how much her husband has done for her in these months. I would pray she feels God near and he grants her peace and encourages her from the inside.
So there you have it. Thanks all in advance for your prayers. They are much appreciated.
For those who may not know...the short version is had a benign brain tumor removed on May 29th. On may 30th she had a stroke, where she lost everything on her right side and the ability to speak or answer questions (basically like a newborn baby), only to whimper and cry. In the interim she has had nothing but problem after problem: a variety of infections, hydrocephalus, and seizures, and the inability to eat or drink much, which had her in and out of the hospital about every two weeks. She had a shunt put in on September 4th, and a gastro tube in mid September and has finally been improving ever since. She is a woman of God, a Pastor's daughter and a Pastor's sister and a Pastor's wife. She has served the Lord her entire life which is why this is so hard.
In the comments on my Anniversary post (thanks everyone!), Jon was asking how he could pray for her, so I'm going to share about that for anyone who may want some specifics.
One thing is she has atrophied so much from being bedridden since June that she still cannot stand or walk. So we would like to see her continue to regain strength so one day she may walk again. She was a petite woman to begin with, and these months have seen her fall below 100 lbs.
Another thing is that while she is speaking and answering questions often now, each word is still a struggle for her. We would like this to continue to improve, as well, and for it to be easier and easier for her to communicate.
Now that she has improved some, she needs visits and company now more than ever, because she is more alert and is able to make conversation. I would pray that her friends be even more willing to come spend time with her.
As well, because she is more aware, she has been breaking down crying more often as she is realizing more about her condition and about how long it's been -- and today I think it was because she is more aware of how much her husband has done for her in these months. I would pray she feels God near and he grants her peace and encourages her from the inside.
So there you have it. Thanks all in advance for your prayers. They are much appreciated.
a small request
please visit my post from today. i think it has something to do with us, here, in the Kitchen. but rather than reprint the whole thing here, i thought i would just link. thank you in advance for your time, and hopefully, input.
Just a confession
Guys, I am sorry I have been gone. I get overwhelmed and I retreat from life. I got hit really hard a few weeks back (well, a few months back) with a part of my life that I thought was over, a part that I wish was over. It isn't that it is a bad thing, but it is a thing that plays into my fears of rejection and judgment. I am living in constant dread and I hate that.
I need to emerge and start living life again. But when this happens I also feel the need to be separate, like I am some kind of freak or something.
Anyway, i have been living selfishly in many ways and that needs to stop. I have to stop hiding and retreating for the sake of my husband and kids, and for my sake too.
I need to emerge and start living life again. But when this happens I also feel the need to be separate, like I am some kind of freak or something.
Anyway, i have been living selfishly in many ways and that needs to stop. I have to stop hiding and retreating for the sake of my husband and kids, and for my sake too.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
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